Take this quiz to better understand how your self-talk is influencing your moods

How you talk to yourself has major impacts on how the emotions that you feel.  Try this quiz to become aware of how your semi-conscious internal voices may be influencing your moods.

Your Self-Talk Quiz

Rate the frequency from 0 (never) to 5 (very often) that your inner thoughts include the following sentence starters:

1.  Good job! Well-done! or an equivalent positive self-evaluation.

2.  I’d like to … (and then you do it)

3.  Why did I do that?!  That was dumb (or a similarly deprecating word)

4.  I should …. (followed by something that you don’t want to do but feel you have to)…

5.  I shouldn’t have … (followed by something you did)

6.  What if …(followed by a possible bad thing that could happen)?

7. He/she/they probably think I’m …(followed by a negative description of yourself)

How to score:

Wellbeing: Add together your scores on 1 and 2.  If they add up to 6 or higher you probably enjoy frequent experience feelings of well-being.

Appreciating good that you have done is uplifting.  Being able to identify what you want to do and then doing it also sustains well-being.

Depression: Add together your scores on 3, 4 and 5.  If they add up to higher than 3 odds are your  thinking habits put you at risk for depression.

Seeing the world as having many shoulds invites caving in to what you really don’t want to do.  Criticizing yourself after the fact with arbitrary shoulds and shouldn’t haves similarly sets you up for feel down.  Better to switch the sh to a c:  I could, or I could have

Anxiety: Add together your scores on 6 and 7.  If they add up to higher than 2, odds are you may be prone to anxiety.  Thinking ahead and envisioning negative scenarios that you then begin to believe will really happen creates worry and anxiety.  So does thinking about what other people think about you.

Better to keep your thoughts in the present unless you are making actual plans of action for dealing with an up-coming situation.  And better to focus on what you are doing rather than

In general, the higher your scores for each category, the more frequently you may inadvertently be inviting that mood in your life.

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Denver psychologist Susan Heitler, PhD (link is external)is author of the Power of Two and interactive online marriage skills program(link is external) that teach the skills for enjoying  gratifying relationships.

Author’s Books

© Copyright 2015 Susan Heitler, Ph.D, All rights Reserved.
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Susan Heitler, Ph.D., is a Denver clinical psychologist who specializes in treatment of anxiety, depression, anger, narcissism, parenting challenges, and marital difficulties. An author of multiple books, articles, audio cd’s and videos, Dr. Heitler is best known in the therapy community for having brought understandings of conflict resolution from the legal and business mediation world to the professional literature on psychotherapy. David Decides About Thumbsucking, Dr. Heitler’s first book, has been recommended for over twenty years by children’s dentists to help young children end detrimental sucking habits. From Conflict to Resolution, an innovative conflict-resolution theory of psychopathology and treatment, has strongly influenced the work of many therapists. The Power of Two and , and also Dr. Heitler’s  website for couples called PowerOfTwoMarriage.com, teach the skills for marriage success. In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Heitler coaches boards of directors in skills for collaboarative decision-making and, in the world of professional sports, Dr. Heitler serves as mental coach for a men’s doubles tennis team. Education Dr. Heitler graduated from Harvard  University in 1967, and earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from NYU in 1975. Awards and Accomplishments The editors of the master therapist video series Assessment and Treatment of Psychological Disorders selected Dr. Heitler from all the marriage and family therapists in the US to demonstrate the theory and techniques of couple treatment.  Her video from this series, The Angry Couple: Conflict Focused Treatment has become a staple in psychologist and marriage counseling training programs. The editors of the Psychologist Desk Reference, a compendium of therapeutic interventions, selected Dr. Heitler to write the chapter onTreating High Conflict Couples. Other editors of books on counseling theory and techniques have similarly invited her to contribute chapters on her conflict resolution treatment methods. Dr. Heitler’s 1997 book The Power of Two (New Harbinger), which clarifies the communication and conflict resolution skills that sustain healthy marriages, has been translated for publication in six foreign language editions–in China, Taiwan, Israel, Turkey, Brazil and Poland. Dr. Heitler has been invited to present workshops on her conflict resolution methods for mediators and lawyers, psychologists, and marriage and family therapists throughout the country.  She has been a popular presenter at national professional conferences including AAMFT, APA, SmartMarriages, and SEPI and has lectured internationally in Austria, Australia, Canada, China, Israel, Lebanon, Spain, and the United Arab Emirates. Dr. Heitler is frequently interviewed in magazines such as FitnessMen’s HealthWomen’s World, and Parenting.  Her cases have appeared often in the Ladies Home Journal column “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”  She is often interviewed by Denver TV newscasters for her perspectives on psychological aspects of current events. In May, 2004 Dr. Heitler appeared on the CBS Early Show where anchor Harry Smith introduced her as “the most influential person in my life—my therapist.”  He encouraged his viewers similarly to seek therapy when they are emotionally distressed and pre-marital counseling when they are contemplating marriage. Most recently, Dr. Heitler, three of her adult children and one of their friends were awarded a U.S. government Healthy Marriages Initiative grant to produce interactive games for teaching marriage communication and conflict resolution skills over the internet.  Seehttp://poweroftwomarriage.com to experience their fun, low-cost, high-impact methods of teaching the skills for a strong and loving marriage. Personal Dr.  Heitler and her husband of almost 40 years are proud parents of four happily married adult children and are grandparents, thus far, of a a baker’s dozen grandchildren.

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