Lori Ann Davis, M.A.,CRS is a Certified Relationship Specialist –Author- Radio Host.
Lori has a unique and passionate approach to love and relationships and believes that everyone deserves and can have the relationship of their dreams. Her mission is to provide you with the skills you need to have the unstoppable relationship you deserve.
She has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. She has an in-person private practice in Charlotte, NC and also provides relationship coaching by phone to people throughout the United States. Her practice spans the spectrum from dating and singles to working through divorce to renewing long-term marriages.
You can read more about Lori and see her latest posts here.
We contacted Lori for an interview and she kindly accepted our invitation, so here it is.
Q. Why did you become a therapist?
I have always had a passion for helping people. I started college wanting to be an attorney. I ended up falling in love with my psychology classes and switched my major. Working with people and helping them feel better just comes natural to me. I lucky to be doing what I love.
Q. What single piece of advice can you give readers about how to live a happy fulfilling life?
Take a look at what you are focusing on. Is your attention on what is good about your life or what is wrong? Don’t wait to be happy when….. Be happy now! Savor life’s little pleasures and live in the moment as much as you can. Spend time daily nurturing your relationships with family and friends.
Q. What have you found to be the most common cause of depression and how can people overcome it?
Depression can start with stressful life events but people can end up seeing the world through a filter of negative thoughts which makes the situation seem worse or prolongs the pain. You can get caught up in a negative spiral the keeps you depressed. It can become a pattern that affects all areas of your life. The first step in overcoming depression is to become aware of you thoughts. Write them down and look for patterns. Then step back and assess them so you can begin to re-frame them into more positive ones. A gratitude journal can help you focus on what is good in your life. This is beneficial in bringing balance back to your thoughts.
Q. In your experience what the single biggest cause of divorce/relationship breakdown and how can it be averted before it’s too late?
In my experience, the biggest cause of relationship breakdown is not feeling accepted and loved by your partner. No one teaches us how to give our partner what they really need in a relationship. To make matters more complicated, men and women need and want different things in relationships. Often, we give our partner what we want from them but that is not what they need. We need to learn how to understand each other first and then be willing to take small steps daily to work on maintaining and improving our relationships so they are the safe haven full of love that we crave. This is why I wrote my book: Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life. I want to give people the information along with simple steps they can take to create healthy, loving relationships.
Q. What do you like most about being a therapist?
It is very rewarding to see clients improve their lives and relationships. It is energizing to help others. It feels good to make a positive difference in people’s lives. I get to be there to help them when they need it the most.
Q. What do you like least about being a therapist?
It can be emotionally draining at times. It is frustrating when a client is not ready or able to make progress. I know how to help them but sometimes they are not ready for the help.
Q. What is the major cause of stress nowadays and how can people best deal with it?
I believe relationships are the major cause of stress for most people. When you are not happy in a relationship, it affects all areas of your life. One of the first things you can do is to look at your expectations for the relationship. Are they realistic? No on person can give you all you need. Sometimes expectations are unstated or do not match in a relationship. It is important to have open and honest communication regarding your expectations, desires, wants and needs. Be sure to use “I” statements in your communication so the other person can hear you without becoming defensive.
Q. What is the best way to deal with grief?
The first step is to acknowledge your feelings.Then reach out and accept support form others. Do not try to go it alone. People want to help and you need to let them. Utilize family, friends and even professionals to help you get past this time in your life.
Q. If you had your life to live over again what would you change if anything?
I feel very blessed to say that there is nothing I would change. Even the challenging times have brought great blessing.I am very happy with my life and cannot wait to see what the future brings.
Q. What is the funniest /most bizarre/most inspirational thing that has happened to you in dealing with your clients?
I think the most inspiring thing for me is when I run into a former client at the mall or out in public somewhere and they are excited to share their continued progress with me. It keeps me passionate about what I do to know that our time working together is still impacting their life.
[Lori Ann Davis]