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How To Avoid Dating The Seductive Psychopath

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How To Avoid Dating The Seductive Psychopath

What is a psychopath?

First of all it’s important to note that the stereotypical psychopath – the one like Norman Bates in Psycho is a myth. Although some serial killers such as the infamous Ted Bundy   were psychopaths this doesn’t mean to say that all psychopaths are murderers.

However all psychopaths as you’ll see by watching this Ted Bundy video outwardly seem normal and even charming.

Despite what many people think it’s unlikely you would be able to pick out a psychopath from the crowd as this video demonstrates!

 

So what exactly is a psychopath?

Here are 2 descriptions that may help you better understand the true nature of a Psychopath:

Dictionary.com
“A person with psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.”
“Broadly speaking, they are people who use manipulation, violence and intimidation to control others and satisfy selfish needs. They can be intelligent and highly charismatic, but display a chronic inability to feel guilt, remorse or anxiety about any of their actions.”

5 Infamous psychopaths

  • Vlad the Impaler
  • Adolf Hitler
  • Ivan the Terrible
  • Jack the Ripper
  • Josef Mengele (“The Angel of Death”)

How can you tell if someone is a psychopath?

One of the first tests for psychopathy was devised by Dr. Robert Hare and is known as the Hare Psychopathy Checklist which consists of a 20 item symptom rating scale which was originally devised to test convicted criminals.

The 20 symptoms and typical behavior that reveals the true nature of a psychopath

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1.Exhibits glib and superficial charm

A psychopath works hard to deceive by presenting a persona that’s likeable and charming and will behave in such as way in order to gain your trust not because he is likeable or charming naturally.

He may even appear generous or kind and you might even think of him as a philanthropist but make no mistake this facade is intended to gain your admiration and trust.

Basically they’ll tell you what you want to hear so that you have a high opinion of them as a genuine caring individual whom you can trust.

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2.Has a grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self

Psychopaths really have an exaggerated opinion of themselves, often thinking they are a lot smarter and more important than  they are.

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3.Has a need for stimulation

You won’t find a psychopath attending Yoga or meditation classes. Calmness, quiet and reflection are anathema to a psychopath who constantly seeks amusement and activity to satisfy his need for stimulation.

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4.Adept at pathological lying

In his attempts to impress, a psychopath has no qualms about lying and will usually have a repertoire of lies ranging from the little white lies to fantastic stories which he can relate convincingly. To that extent he is a confidence trickster par excellence!

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5.Uses cunning and manipulativeness

Psychopaths use cunning and manipulation to get people to do what they want them to do. They are very versatile and seem to know exactly which buttons to press to achieve their own ends using emotional blackmail, threats and many more tactics to achieve their own ends.

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6.Lacks remorse or guilt

One of the best indications of psychopathy is a lack of guilt or remorse. Guilt is not something that a psychopath is capable of feeling although they pretend to show guilt and remorse for their behavior in order to preserve the nice person image they wish to project.

As a result the person at the receiving end of their bad behavior often feels pity for them and might even try to console them – such is the psychopath’s ability to manipulate without compunction.

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7.Exhibits shallow affect (superficial emotional responsiveness)

Don’t expect a psychopath to show any emotional response to the plight of starving children in Africa or the Syrian refugee crisis or to shed tears when watching a Titanic or any other romantic film.

Psychopaths are unmoved by events such as love, death or injury that would prompt a deep emotional response from non-psychopaths.

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8.Possesses callousness and lack of empathy

Psychopaths are callous and their lack of empathy means they are unable to relate to non-psychopaths except in a contrived way to charm others.

They can recognize and understand the emotions of others but are incapable of really feeling the emotions of others.

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9.Adopts parasitic lifestyle

Psychopaths thrive from living off other people. They are adept at using others to gain status and resources and can easily ingratiate themselves to others to achieve this end.

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10.Has poor behavioral controls

The psychopath is prone to inappropriate behavior which is hardly surprising given his lack of empathy with others. Prepare to be embarrassed should you be accompanied by one to any kind of social event where it’s unlikely he will show any kind of appreciation or understanding of social etiquette.

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11.Indulges in sexual promiscuity

If you’re unfortunate enough to have a psychopathic partner you can expect him to engage in affairs, sign up for a lifetime’s membership of Ashley Madison, suggest threesomes and watch porn – after all a psychopath needs stimulation and excitement at all times.

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12.Shows early behavior problems

Before 13, he is likely to have been involved in lygin, stealing, vandalising, cheating, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue sniffing, alcohol consumption, plying truant and running away from home.ed including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use and running away from home.

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13.Lack realistic long-term goals

A psychopath leads a life lacking in direction and never develops or completes long term plans or goals.

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14.Prone to impulsiveness

Impulsive, reckless, whimsical reacting to what excites him at any given moment without considering the consequences, the psychopath cannot resist and is bound to follow that which gives him pleasure.

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15.Shows irresponsibility

Does not honor obligations or commitments often failing to pay bills, keeping up loan repayments, being late or absent from work without good reason and failing to honor contract agreements.

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16.Fails to accept responsibility for own actions

A psychopath will typically deny responsibility for their actions, has no sense of duty or obligation and will try to manipulate others by his denials.

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17.Has many short-term marital relationships

Likely to have had many short-term marital relationships, a psychopath’s lack of commitment means that he has no long term commitments to wife or family.

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18.Involved in juvenile delinquency

Between the ages of 13-18 psychopaths have behavioral problems such as aggression, manipulation, intimidation and callousness that manifest in their crimes.

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19.Revocation of conditional release

A revocation of probation or parole due to violating terms of release such as failing to appear at agreed intervals or entering forbidden areas.

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20.Criminal versatility

Psychopaths commit a wide variety of crimes and take great pride in getting away with them.

Cautionery note

Please do not use this list as a means of assessing if someone you know is a psychopath. Only a psychiatrist or qualified mental health professional can make an accurate diagnosis.

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Derek Collinson is a Business Consultant and Internet Entrepreneur and the founder of four of the most popular dating sites on the internet. The first site Derek founded was www.doglover.biz, the first dating site in the world for people who love dogs and want to share their lives with like minded people. The second was www.attracion.com for people who are only interested in one thing – finding their soul mate and the third was www.thirdagedating.com for people 40 and over who want to share their lives with people from the same era. Recently Derek created a new dating site called www.ourlifeourtime.com for people 50 and over. Derek is a lifelong animal lover and vegetarian as well as being a qualified Reiki practitioner and uses Reiki to heal both people and all creatures great and small. He spent three years using dating sites as a way of finding his soul mate and during that time gained invaluable knowledge of online dating through his experiences of meeting people online and offline as well as from running his three dating sites. Derek’s confidence in online dating was rewarded when seven years ago he met his partner on his own dating site for dog lovers – www.doglover.biz. He created www.howdoidate.com in March, 2013  to provide dating and relationship advice from qualified people to enable others to find love and build fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect, understanding and nurture.

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