Why you need to find out who you really are before you can love yourself
Walk with me through this article so that you can begin to see, value and love who you really are.
I grew up with parents who had no idea they even had an essence. They believed they were their wounded selves, and that they were not good enough. Because they could not see their essence, they could not see mine, so I also grew up believing I was not good enough.
Everything changed for me when I finally saw my true essence.
Since my wounded self was programmed to believe that I was not good enough, I could not see my essence through the eyes of my wounded self. In fact, my wounded self was so convinced that I was not good enough that she spent a lot of energy hiding my essence. I could not see my essence until I started to practice Inner Bonding and began developing my spiritual connection.
Through my consistent Inner Bonding practice, my connection with my spiritual Guidance became stronger and stronger. By testing out, many times, what my Guidance told me, I finally learned to trust her.
So when she showed me the magnificence and beauty of my true essence, I believed her. That’s when I stopped needing others’ approval. That’s when I started to be able to fully manifest my life.
My Guidance not only showed me how incredible my essence is, she showed me how incredible everyone’s essence is. She helped me develop the ability to see and relate to people as their essence rather than as their wounded self.
Now I know, as Anita Moorjani states in “Dying to be Me,” that the essence of all of us is love – an individualized expression of the love that is God. Not only are we love, but each of us has been given unique gifts and talents to enable us to express our love in unique and individual ways.
Right now, take a deep breath. Put your focus into your heart and move into an intent to learn with your Guidance about who you are. Use your imagination to envision your Guidance – whatever that is for you.
Now imagine that you can see your soul essence – your true self – through the eyes of your Guidance. What do you see? You need to get beyond your wounded inner child to the child you were before you became afraid, and learned to protect. You might even need to go all the way back to before you were born, since if your mother didn’t want you, or there was a lot of conflict in your environment, you might have already been afraid – even before birth.
See if you can FEEL the love that you are, and all the other unique and wonderful qualities that you are as a soul. You might want to write down what you see.
One of the habits I’ve developed is the exact opposite of self-judgment: I acknowledge out loud to my little girl whenever I behave in a way that truly expresses my soul essence. I tell her how grateful I am that she is within me and that I get to take loving care of her. I marvel at her creativity, her kindness, the joy she receives from giving to others. I praise her for her love of learning, her joy and laughter, her connection with people and animals, her playfulness and her aliveness. I let her know how much I value her deep sense of integrity and honesty.
In other words, I do what good parents consistently do – I mirror to her, throughout the day, who she really is.
Yet even this isn’t enough. In order for her to believe me, I then need to treat her as a cherished being. I need to love her by taking loving action in her behalf. Seeing her is only the beginning. Taking consistent loving action in her behalf lets her know that I truly love and cherish her. This is what Inner Bonding is all about.
[Margaret Paul Relationship Toolbox]