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This Is How Eye-Contact Reveals What People Think Of You

what does this type of eye-contact mean?

Body language

This Is How Eye-Contact Reveals What People Think Of You

Five types of eye-contact and what each might signify.

For years now, six days a week, my doggie Einstein and I take a 45-minute hike around a lake that is so popular that each time, I pass 100  people walking in the opposite direction.

During those walks, I’ve made an informal study of people’s eye contact as they approach me and others walking in my direction.

As a result, I have identified five types of eye contact and have developed hypotheses as to what they mean.

Looking at the person’s face for longer than one second. This is the rarest type of eye contact. Most often, the recipient is about the same age as the looker and is conventionally attractive.

Men are more likely to look that long at a woman than vice-versa. When a woman is doing the looking, it’s more often at an attractive woman. One possible reason is that’s even in today’s feminist era, many women feel it’s too aggressive to look that long at an attractive man.

When seeing a sexually attractive person, many Americans of both sexes try to maintain a deadpan appearance but it’s hard to control such things as widening of the eyes or a slight upward curl of their mouth’s corners.

Of course, there are false positives, which can occur, for example, if the person thinks s/he knows you or likes something on your face: eyeglasses, earrings, etc.

Looking at the person for 1/2 to 1 second. This may suggest interest, perhaps sexual attraction, platonic attraction, or simply that your appearance interesting enough to warrant a glance, for example, if s/he likes your hairstyle.

Looking straight ahead. The person can still see you with peripheral vision but has looked directly at or away from you. This may mean s/he’s not paying attention to you, is spacing out, thinking about something else, or is neutral to your appearance. The latter often is the case when a young person sees an average-looking person who’s much older.

Looking away without changing facial expression.  That may mean s/he finds you moderately unattractive and/or that s/he’s responding negatively to your having established eye contact—It says, “I’m not interested.”

Looking away with a look of disdain.  After a quick glance at you, the person looks away while his/her face goes from flat to scoffing, for example, upper lip curled in disdain, flared nostrils, or even a sneer that says “You gross me out.” Of course, it could also be that at the moment s/he had a negative thought having nothing to do with you.

A moment of eye contact can send a signal, so might you want to be more conscious about how you look at people?

Marty Nemko’s bio is in Wikipedia.(link is external) His new book, his 8th, is The Best of Marty Nemko.

[Marty Nemko]

Named the San Francisco Bay Area’s “Best Career Coach,” Marty Nemko has been career and personal coach to 4,500 clients and enjoys a 96% client-satisfaction rate. The author of seven books (250,000 copies sold) including How to Do Life: What They Didn’t Teach You in School plus over 2,000(!) published articles, including on Time.com where he also writes, Marty Nemko is in his 26th year as host of Work with Marty Nemko on KALW-FM (NPR-San Francisco.) He was the one man in a one-man PBS-TV Pledge Drive Special. Marty Nemko holds a Ph.D. in educational psychology from the University of California, Berkeley and subsequently taught there. He is married to Barbara Nemko, the Napa County Superintendent of Schools. They have one daughter and one doggie: Einstein, whose name is false advertising: He’s dumb as dirt but sweet as they come. The archive of Marty Nemko’s writings and radio show plus an active blog and Twitter stream are at www.martynemko.com.

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