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Everybody Needs To Feel Somebody’s Touch

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Communication

Everybody Needs To Feel Somebody’s Touch

Good Touch, Bad Touch, No Touch

When you’re so afraid of bad touch that you pull away from everyone,you end up with no touch and miss out on the good touch that might have healed the pain and hurt from the bad touch.

I can’t prove it and neither can you, but I think you’ll agree with me that our skin has a memory separate from our minds of Good Touch, Bad Touch and No Touch.

No Touch

When you sleep on opposite sides of the bed with your backs to each other with one partner dead asleep and the other staring into the darkness thinking, “What am I doing here?” when it’s easier to have sex than it is to kiss; when you walk in the world one moment hoping no one will speak to you or touch you and the next moment feeling painfully alone.

Bad Touch

Being hit in anger; honking your horn and yelling at that elderly driver who probably shouldn’t be driving or being that older person who shouldn’t be driving; being ridiculed; being looked at with disdain, disgust or repulsion from someone who once liked, cherished, admired, respected and even loved you; the moment you get up out of bed to sleep in a separate bedroom from your partner because you don’t want to feel angrier at them.

Good Touch

The smile you see when you’re seeing someone you love after being away and all you see is each other; when you spoon in bed; that gentle touch you see between older couples when one taps the other on the arm to point out something they both enjoyed in the past; when your son or daughter helps your aging mom or dad walk to the car from a restaurant; when a loving wife of 60 years gently rubs her husband’s wrist while the morphine drip is attached and tells him, “Just breathe through your nose and all the pain will all go away.”

What does your skin remember?

Being listened to and feeling not just understood, but feeling felt is good touch and your skins never even have to touch. In fact if you have read this far, I’m guessing that some of what you have just read have cause you to feel felt. Find out how to do that for others in, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone(AMACOM, $24.95)

 

Authors’ Books and Kindle – Click for Amazon Reviews

Mark Goulston, M.D. is a business advisor, consultant, speaker, trainer and coach trained as a clinical psychiatrist who honed his skills as an FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer who increases people’s ability to get through to anyone.

He is Co- Founder of Heartfelt Leadership whose Mission is: Daring to Care and Go Positive Now and is the Resident Big Brother at Business Women Rising and serves on the Board of Advisers of American Women Veterans and Dr. Oz’ foundation, Health Corps.

He is the author of international best selling book, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (AMACOM, $24.95) which has reached #1 at amazon kindle in six business categories, #1 in China and Germany , #1 in audible audiobooks and has been translated into fourteen languages. Dr. Goulston and his book was also a PBS special entitled “Just Listen with Dr. Mark Goulston.” His next book, REAL INFLUENCE: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, co-authored with Dr. John Ullment will be the lead book for the American Management Association in January, 2013 and will focus on influencing people in a post-selling world.

Dr. Goulston’s development of those skills started with his education: a B.A. from UC Berkeley, an M.D. from Boston University, post graduate residency in psychiatry at UCLA. He went on to be a professor at UCLA’s internationally renowned Neuropsychiatric Institute for more than twenty years, become a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and was named one of America’s Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 and again in 2009 and 2011 by Washington, D.C. based Consumers’ Research Council of America.

A partial list of companies, organizations and universities he has trained, spoken to, provided executive coaching to or consulted with include: GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Xerox, Deutsche Bank, Hyatt, Accenture, Astra Zenica, British Airways, Sodexo, ESPN, Kodak, Federal Express, YPO, YPOWPO India, Association for Corporate Growth, FBI, Los Angeles District Attorney, White & Case, Seyfarth Shaw, UCLA Anderson School of Management, USC, Pepperdine University.

He is or has been a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and is the best selling author of four prior books including the international best seller, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior (Perigee, $13.95) Get Out of Your Own Way at Work…and Help Others Do the Same (Perigee, $14.95), is a contributor to Harvard Business, blogs for the Huffington Post, Business Insider writes the Tribune media syndicated column, Solve Anything with Dr. Mark, column on leadership for FAST COMPANY, Directors Monthly. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, Today.

Dr. Goulston lives in Los Angeles with his wife and three children.

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