Will Mark Zuckerberg make the world a better place?

Dear Mark,

Congratulations on the birth of Max, especially after the three painful miscarriages.

Within the next few months, you will look into her eyes and she will look into yours and you may experience what other dads – including me – saw and see.  It will be like looking into the eyes of God and experiencing a shared joy and trust that will be beyond words.

If you keep looking, you may also imagine Max saying to you with her eyes, “Daddy, when I grow up to be 18, make me proud.”

And if at 18, she looks you in the eye and asks, “Daddy, did you make the world better?” there may be one element missing from your being able to say to her that you did.

Sure you can reply, “Well honey, I founded Facebook and through it connected more people in the world than any other system in the history of humankind.  Also, when you were born, your mom and I donated 99% of our wealth to helping the world so that we could all watch and participate in making that happen.”

But here is the missing link with which, if you don’t help, you might disappoint Max, because you might be disappointed in yourself if you don’t achieve it.

If you succeed in connecting the world but do little or nothing to help people to relate to each other with compassion, kindness, tenderness and forgiveness towards each other, you will have fallen short.

I’m guessing and hoping that you know what I am speaking about because you appear to be on a personal journey from “wunderkinder/enfant terrible” to understanding personal pain, wanting to let others experiencing similar pain know that they are not alone and developing a capacity for tenderness and intimacy that is beyond what you ever imagined and may be more meaningful to you than you ever imagined.

To accelerate your personal development check out this video of Gladys Wilson and Naomi Feil which to me is the Gold Standard for kindness, compassion and tenderness:

Then check out this video which will show you where the world is going and why kindness, compassion and tenderness is so critical and even urgent to develop:

So that you don’t disappoint Max and yourself, I have a suggestion for you.

I propose that you serve as a role model and offer training to every Facebook employee on how to have tender and intimate conversations with their families.

If you do that, instead of having your employees come to work (even a fun place to work) from dysfunctional and anything-but-tender homes and families, you can help them feel satisfied and fulfilled, with a “cup will runneth over” gratitude towards you for helping.

Do that and dedication to your company will go through the roof and people will become unpoachable.

If you’re lucky and pull it off, it could go viral just when we need it more than ever.

Imagine a world where tender and intimate conversations are possible and happen, as opposed to what we hear from politicians.  And imagine such conversations replacing the sound of parents pushing and yelling at their children to do their homework and become killers on the soccer field so as to get into the best schools and colleges… all of which contributes to eating disorders, other disorders, and children who tragically lose the capacity for joy and wonder.

If instead, you help create a more loving planet, you will not only leave the world better than you found it, you will make Max proud of you…and possibly make you proud of you.

Finally, to help you be that person to Max that you want to be, I’d suggest you make a video now where you speak to yourself when Max is 18 to make sure you don’t stray.  This video might give you an idea of how to do that:

Good luck and enjoy Max.  They really do grow up very fast.

Mark Goulston

[Mark Goulston]