Communication

Relationship Started On Facebook Ends In Confusion

Published on Jul 31, 2014

Should he pursue this girl he met on Facebook?

I took this girl on a date last weekend for the first time meeting her. We went to see a movie (bad choice). It was her idea. We laughed and talked and even made eye contact throughout the movie. After it was over she hurriedly left to the parking lot…It was about 12 and she may have had a curfew. She thanked me and said she had fun, we hugged and she said she would txt me when she could do it again. I let a day pass and then sent her a happy Valentine’s day txt she replied the same and then I asked how her day was and received no response. Another 3 days without contact went bye and she txtd me on Thursday. We exchanged brief catch up txts saying we were both free for the weekend and then I asked if she wanted to chill this weekend and the replies stopped…I am good about reading women but she is throwing me for a loop. Dr. Love PLEASE help me! I just need to know if she’s interested or playing games so I can move on… P.S (We met on Facebook and would talk some (where I got her #) but I got serious with another girl and she got a boyfriend. We’re both single now but the conversations aren’t the same…They’re not as relaxed and playful and I seem to be the one working for her now instead of vice versa like it used to be… lol) Signed: Dazed & Confused

Answer:

Dear Dazed & Confused, I hear that you are receiving mixed signals and that you are being driven mad. In the end, no one but she knows what’s going on in her mind. She sounds conflicted about getting involved. She gives you a green light and then backs off. If you notice, each time you come in close, she pulls back. But when you pull back as was the case when you had three days without contact, then she reaches out to you. She sounds very conflicted about getting involved. She seems to run scared when you come too close. Notice she told you that she would text you when she was ready to get together. It doesn’t sound to me like wants you to pursue her. Each time you do, she runs. Rather, it seems as though she needs to be in control of the contact. I do notice you said that you seem to be doing all the work now when in the beginning it was the opposite.
I think you need to return to the way it was in the beginning and let her be in control of the frequency of contact, when you get together, and so on. Let her feel in charge. That should ease her anxiety, which will enable her to gradually come closer to you. Let me know how you do.

Author’s Books

Related Topics:anxiety, Author Books, Dear Dazed Confused, dr love, Facebook, move on, Signed Dazed Confused

Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D.

Known to millions as "Dr. Love" through her website AskDrLove.com, Dr. Turndorf founded the web's first and immensely popular relationship advice column in 1995. She consistently attracts new fans and keeps her existing audience engaged through her compassionate understanding as well as her frank delivery and earthy sense of humor. At the same time, she puts her listeners at ease while digging deeply in their psyches and prescribing her signature cure. Dr. Turndorf's multimedia platform allows her to share relevant and timely advice via radio, online, in print and on television. Her radio show, "Ask Dr. Love," can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on WebTalkRadio, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide. Her column entitled "We Can Work it Out," is published monthly online in Psychology Today. Her critically acclaimed books have been teaching readers the hard and fast facts to healing relationships for years. Dr. Turndorf's methods have been featured on national television networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS, VH1 and Fox, and on websites such as WebMD, iVillage, Discovery.com, MSNBC.com. She has also been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire. Dr. Turndorf’s latest Hay House book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship, has been endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors Jack Canfield, Dr. John Gray and John Bradshaw. Since the recent death of Emile Jean Pin, her beloved husband of 27 years, Dr. Turndorf has discovered that relationships do not end in death. His miraculous manifestations, often in front of witnesses, have proven to her that there is life after life and love never dies. As a result of her experiences, Dr. Turndorf has developed a groundbreaking form of grief therapy that diverges from the traditional Western approach (grieve, let go and move on). By contrast, her method guides people to reconnect and, if needed, make peace with their departed loved ones. Her latest Hay House book on this topic is entitled Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. To understand fully what Old Scars are, how they are formed, how they affect your relationships, and how to heal them, read my book Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. For Free Gift details or to receive a sneak peek of Love Never DIes, visit the book page: http://askdrlove.com/page/love-never-dies-how-reconnect-and-make-peace-deceased.