4 how to make friends checklists
After you’re out of school, it may not be as easy to make friends. Perhaps this article will help. Here we’re talking about platonic friends, not romantic ones.If you’re looking for more than one type of friend, you might want to complete these checklists separately for each type.
It helps to first figure out what you want a friend for. Check all that apply:
___ A sympathetic ear.
___ An activity partner (specify the activity(ies):)
___ Intellectual discussions (specify topic(s):
___ Emotional discussions (specify topic(s):
___ Someone you can help with (specify:)
___ Someone to laugh with, be silly with.
___ Practical advice on (specify:)
___ Other (Specify:)
What characteristics would you like that friend to have? Mark the must-haves with an M, the nice-to-haves with an N.
___ More intelligent than you
___ Similar level of intelligence
___ Less intelligent
___ Mainly intellectual
___ Mainly emotional
___ Emotionally well-adjusted
___ Emotionally vulnerable
___ A great listener
___ Who talks about themselves a lot.
___ Who talks little about themselves.
___ Has similar political views to yours
___ Has different political views from yours
___ Laid back
___ Racially, ethnically, or religiously different from you
___ Racially, ethnically, or religiously similar to you
___ A straight arrow
___ Other (Specify:)
Where would you like to interact with this friend?
__ Mainly or exclusively in-person (specify a location(s:)
__ Mainly or exclusively by phone, Skype, and/or email
Where are you likely to first meet this friend?
___ At a Meetup (specify:)
___ Online (specify:)
__ At work
___ At some recreation (specify:)
___ At some political event
___ At a class (specify:)
___ At a religious event
___ It’s an old friend you recontact
___ Other (specify:)
The Friend Report Card
Some friendships are worth devoting more time to. Others should be ended or cut back, but we may have a hard time doing that. It may help to see the relationship in black and white. For one or more of your friends, rate them A to F on each of these:
__ Meeting your needs
__ The time demands of the friendship
__ The emotional demands of the friendship
__ The friendship brings out the best in you.
As you review your answers, is there anything you actually want to do to make, build, or cut a friendship?