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How To Keep Romance Alive

Why it takes time to keep romance alive

Gretta and David fell deeply in love in their mid 50’s. They were both astounded at the level of passion they experienced.

At the beginning of their relationship, nothing got in the way of their time together – not chores, children, work, friends, or “stuff”. Nothing was more important than their time together.

However, when they got married and started living together, their passion seemed to fall by the wayside. Sometimes they didn’t make love for weeks at a time. They called me for a session to see what was wrong.

Half way into the session, David hit the nail on the head. “We never seem to have time for each other anymore.”

“What are you doing with your time now?” I asked. “Getting stuff done,” they answered.

“Why is getting the stuff done more important than time together?” I asked.

As we explored this question, both Gretta and David discovered that they had been brought up with a strong work ethic: “Get everything done before relaxing.” “Work before play.” What they didn’t realize was that their “doing” was in the way of their “being.” Without having time to be, they had no emotional and spiritual connection with each other, or with themselves. Without their connection, there was no desire to express themselves sexually, especially for Gretta. Gretta complained that she didn’t feel connected with David and didn’t enjoy sex without connection, yet she made no room in her day for the time to connect.

How many of you plan time for yourself to connect with yourself and with your spiritual guidance? How many of you plan time to connect with your partner or others in your life?

Creating time to connect with yourself means setting aside time each day to just be with yourself. When you plan this quiet time – to pray, meditate, do an Inner Bonding process – you create the space to connect with Spirit as well. It is when you are quiet and in the moment with yourself that you will hear the voice of your spiritual guidance.

Creating time to connect with each other means planning time to do nothing with each other, as well as planning fun time together. It means sitting together on the patio and watching the sunset. It means having a cup of tea together before going to work. It means watching a video together, or taking a walk. It means getting into bed way before bedtime to cuddle and share your day with each other. It means getting up early enough to share your dreams with each other. It means planning a date night together at least once a week.

Your relationship with yourself and your partner will always suffer if you do not plan time to connect. This is not a luxury – something you do only after you’ve finished everything. This is a necessity for your own health and well-being as well as the health and well-being of your relationship. You will never finish everything you need to do. There will always be “stuff.” But the wonder and passion of life will pass you by if you do not schedule in time to connect. This time needs to be as important as the time you take to eat, sleep, and work. It is only when you see it as essential to your well-being will you make it a very high priority in your life.

Gretta and David decided to set aside a half hour each day to sit on their patio and do nothing with each other. In addition, they each decided to set aside another half hour – when they were usually doing stuff – to connect with themselves. It didn’t take long for the passion to come back into their relationship.

[Margaret Paul Relationship Toolbox]

 

CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING

Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids?, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Dr. Paul’s books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages.

Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967.

Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world — mostly on the phone. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest®, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding® and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public.

Margaret is passionate about helping people rapidly heal the root cause of their pain and learn the path to joy and loving relationships.

In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride horses, and spend time with her grandchildren.

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