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Do You Think You’re Easy To Be With? This Relationship Test Reveals All

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Do You Think You’re Easy To Be With? This Relationship Test Reveals All

Take this quick and easy double standards relationship test and find out

How often do you do unto others as you would like them to do unto you? When you expect more of others than they get to expect from you, you not only live by a double standard, you’re a bore and a pain in the rear.

Where are you?* Take this double standards relationship test and find out:

Scoring: 1 = rarely; 2 = sometimes; 3 = frequently

  1. How often do you say,  “I’m sorry” vs. expect others to say, “I’m sorry”?
  2. How often do you say, “Thank you” vs. expect others to say, “Thank you”?
  3. How often do you say, “I was wrong” vs. expect others to say, “I was wrong”?
  4. How often do you patiently wait for people who are taking too long vs. expect people to patiently wait for you when you are taking too long?
  5. How often do you go out of your way to help someone without their having to ask vs. expect someone to go out of their way to help you without your having to ask?
  6. How often do you give people the benefit of the doubt vs. expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt?
  7. How often do you give others a compliment vs. expect others to give you a    compliment?
  8. How often do you root for others vs. expect others to root for you?
  9. How often do you acknowledge the deeds of others vs. expect others to acknowledge your deeds?
  10. How often do you listen to others vs. expect others to listen to you?
  11. How often do you take responsibility for your actions vs. expect others to take  responsibility for their actions?
  12. How often do you accept no for an answer from others vs. expect others to take no for an answer from you?

 

Scoring:

12 – 19: There is little to no gold in the rules you follow. You are not only a “dyed in the wool” person who lives by a double standard, you’re “high maintenance” (easy to upset, difficult to please) and a drag.  You tick of people and most people resent you.  If they keep you in their lives, you are either frickin’ brilliant at something, they need something from you that they can’t get from anyone else, they are martyrs or they’re so furious and feel so guilty about feeling close to out of control that they either put up with you or worse give you your way.  Be careful.  Once theywise up and realize how little they get from a relationship with you and gather the courage to cut their losses, you’re toast.

20 – 29: You’re average.  Not bad, not so great.  You can improve and move into the 25 – 30 category and become a valued friend and partner or you can spend too much time with the 12- 17 category people and have them drag you down to their level. It’s really your choice.

30 – 36: You really do practice the golden rule and do onto others as you would have them do onto you. You’re also “low maintenance” (easy to please, difficult to upset) and a dream as a friend or partner.  People may not realize and appreciate you for your great qualities at first, but over time they will.  Be careful not to get involved with people in the 12 – 17 category.  You will be minced meat and over time they will only cause you to become frustrated or sullen.  You may do so by thinking of yourself as the better person, when in reality you are being foolish.

* Of course if you are real gutsy, have the people around you take this realtionship test in terms of how they would rate you.  And then if you are really committed to changing for the better, do a gap analysis between their ratings and yours and then ask them what you need to start doing and stop doing so that they view you as practicing the Golden Rule.

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Mark Goulston, M.D. is a business advisor, consultant, speaker, trainer and coach trained as a clinical psychiatrist who honed his skills as an FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer who increases people’s ability to get through to anyone. He is Co- Founder of Heartfelt Leadership whose Mission is: Daring to Care and Go Positive Now and is the Resident Big Brother at Business Women Rising and serves on the Board of Advisers of American Women Veterans and Dr. Oz’ foundation, Health Corps. He is the author of international best selling book, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (AMACOM, $24.95) which has reached #1 at amazon kindle in six business categories, #1 in China and Germany , #1 in audible audiobooks and has been translated into fourteen languages. Dr. Goulston and his book was also a PBS special entitled “Just Listen with Dr. Mark Goulston.” His next book, REAL INFLUENCE: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, co-authored with Dr. John Ullment will be the lead book for the American Management Association in January, 2013 and will focus on influencing people in a post-selling world. Dr. Goulston’s development of those skills started with his education: a B.A. from UC Berkeley, an M.D. from Boston University, post graduate residency in psychiatry at UCLA. He went on to be a professor at UCLA’s internationally renowned Neuropsychiatric Institute for more than twenty years, become a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and was named one of America’s Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 and again in 2009 and 2011 by Washington, D.C. based Consumers’ Research Council of America. A partial list of companies, organizations and universities he has trained, spoken to, provided executive coaching to or consulted with include: GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Xerox, Deutsche Bank, Hyatt, Accenture, Astra Zenica, British Airways, Sodexo, ESPN, Kodak, Federal Express, YPO, YPOWPO India, Association for Corporate Growth, FBI, Los Angeles District Attorney, White & Case, Seyfarth Shaw, UCLA Anderson School of Management, USC, Pepperdine University. He is or has been a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and is the best selling author of four prior books including the international best seller, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior (Perigee, $13.95) Get Out of Your Own Way at Work…and Help Others Do the Same (Perigee, $14.95), is a contributor to Harvard Business, blogs for the Huffington Post, Business Insider writes the Tribune media syndicated column, Solve Anything with Dr. Mark, column on leadership for FAST COMPANY, Directors Monthly. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, Today. Dr. Goulston lives in Los Angeles with his wife and three children.

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Darlene Lancer, LMFT

    Mar 11, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    This is a nifty test, but there should be a category for “don’t expect from others” for those codependents who end up giving, supporting, and understanding and don’t expect or get it in return. They do more than their share to keep a relationship going, then feel resentful for not getting their needs met. They believe if they give more, they’ll get more, but that’s not always true.
    Darlene Lancer, LMFT
    Author of Codependency for Dummies
    http://www.whatiscodependency.com

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