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By Anthony BerconiJan 21, 2016
Feed someone who’s that hungry, and you might see some tears
Most recent in a series of articles and interviews based on the new book Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality by Nicole Daedone. This is article 4 in the series.
My fellow sex journalist Tracy Clark-Flory was a guest at one of Nicole Daedone’s weekend retreats for women at Le Meridien in San Francisco last year. One of the events was a live demonstration of Daedone’s technique of what she calls Orgasmic Meditation (OM) with a female volunteer (see references 1-3 below).
During this public OM session, the volunteer apparently experienced one or more sexual climaxes, accompanied by loud vocalization.
Writing later about the experience for Salon, Clark-Flory described the experience as having been “both arousing and deeply bizarre.”
She also noted that during the demonstration two women in the audience were silently crying.
I’m not surprised that Clark-Flory found the experience arousing, or bizarre. But I’m disappointed she didn’t inquire more why those two audience members were crying.
I would have loved to ask them.
My guess? These women were crying because the scene, strange as it was, touched something profound inside them. Not unlike what might cause one to cry during especially satisfying sex.
Say what one will about Daedone, one must credit her with having followed an intuition that there is something profound about deeply felt sexual desire.
Peak desire involves a sense of specialness, of connectedness, even of sacredness, that shares something with peak religious experience. It’s not hard to imagine eros and spirituality sharing some special part of the human self.
In her book Slow Sex, Daedone writes about her clients coming in saying that they’re hungry for something, but not sure what it is.
Feed someone who’s that hungry, and you might see some tears.
Stephen Snyder, M.D., is a sex and couples therapist, psychiatrist, and writer in New York City. He is currently Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. He has lectured nationally on topics related to mental health aspects of sexuality--combining the biomedical perspective of a physician and the psychological perspective of a sex therapist. He has been an active member of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research since 1995. He has been a featured lecturer and discussant at the Society’s national meetings, and has served on both its Professional Book Award and its Consumer Book Award committees. Over 25 years of practice in Manhattan as a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and sex and couples therapist, he has worked to develop better treatments for sexual problems-- including integrative treatments that combine medical and psychological approaches. His current major areas of interest include: sexuality and the self; diversity of individuals’ sexual natures; current controversies regarding the “medicalization of sexuality”; and sexual psychology in popular culture (be sure to catch his blogs on Twilight, and on Alvin & The Chipmunks). He lives with his wife and children in New York City.