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Will She Leave Because Of Premature Ejaculation?

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Will She Leave Because Of Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation worries

I am a 30 year old male, and I have had a problem with premature ejaculation all of my sexual life.

I have just recently gotten in to a relationship and it started out that I could control it a little bit but now it seems the more I do it the worse it gets.

I have started having problems obtaining an erection because I am so worried about trying to control myself. Then when I get an erection I seem to ejaculate real quick because now I am trying to concentrate on getting an erection.

I need help because it is consuming my life. I don’t want to lose my girlfriend over this and she has been very understanding, but how long will she be that way.

I had a long term relationship that ended about a year ago that this problem existed and I did try different things to try to help but they never really seemed to work I was wondering if I have a medical condition or if there is any kind of chemical that I may need to consider?

I can’t go on with this problem I need to take some kind of action because no women wants to have sex with someone who can’t control themselves.

Please help.
Signed by: Worried to the Point that I’m Losing My Erection

Answer:

I hear how tormented you are. I want you to know that your problem can be resolved, so don’t despair. From a purely mechanical point of view, premature ejaculation is one of the easiest problems to solve.

Most men who ejaculate too quickly do so because they haven’t learned how to recognize what’s called their premonitory sensations (the feeling just before the point of no return).

A qualified sex therapist can show you how to recognize these sensations. Then, the therapist can teach you specific techniques for delaying orgasm. These techniques include the Squeeze Technique and the Stop-Start technique, which are fully outlined in my Advice Archives. Just do a search to find out more.

Because you haven’t had the right help, the problem has magnified to the point that you are becoming scared “un-stiff.” What I mean by this is that the chemicals that flow in the body when a man is frightened are incompatible with the chemicals that need to flow in order to achieve and maintain an erection.

So, please, take a chill pill.

Next, you and your girlfriend, who sounds totally supportive, should do the two techniques I described above together. View the exercises as the most fun homework assignment you ever had. When you do the exercises, talk to yourself and take all pressure off.

Remind yourself that you are learning a much needed new skill. This isn’t very different than learning any other new skill. It takes patience and practice.

While I am sure that you have a skills deficit, we need to also make sure that emotional issues aren’t adding fuel to your rapid fire.

Are you sure that you really want to have a relationship? I know that you do consciously? However, the unconscious part of your mind may feel differently. You yourself said that no woman would want to stay with a man who can’t delay his orgasm. Is it possible that you unconsciously don’t want a woman to stay with you? Are you afraid of closeness and intimacy? Are you scared to get close and be rejected or abandoned?

If this is true, then realize that the unconscious part of your mind can actually manufacture any number of problems, including premature ejaculation, in order to drive any potential partner away from you.

So, by all means, make sure that there isn’t an emotional issue rearing its head (no pun intended). Boning up on your skills and looking into your emotional issues is your winning ticket.

Let me know how you make out.

Author’s Books

Known to millions as “Dr. Love” through her website AskDrLove.com, Dr. Turndorf founded the web’s first and immensely popular relationship advice column in 1995. She consistently attracts new fans and keeps her existing audience engaged through her compassionate understanding as well as her frank delivery and earthy sense of humor. At the same time, she puts her listeners at ease while digging deeply in their psyches and prescribing her signature cure.

Dr. Turndorf’s multimedia platform allows her to share relevant and timely advice via radio, online, in print and on television. Her radio show, “Ask Dr. Love,” can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on WebTalkRadio, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide. Her column entitled “We Can Work it Out,” is published monthly online in Psychology Today. Her critically acclaimed books have been teaching readers the hard and fast facts to healing relationships for years.

Dr. Turndorf’s methods have been featured on national television networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS, VH1 and Fox, and on websites such as WebMD, iVillage, Discovery.com, MSNBC.com. She has also been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire.

Dr. Turndorf’s latest Hay House book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship, has been endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors Jack Canfield, Dr. John Gray and John Bradshaw.

Since the recent death of Emile Jean Pin, her beloved husband of 27 years, Dr. Turndorf has discovered that relationships do not end in death. His miraculous manifestations, often in front of witnesses, have proven to her that there is life after life and love never dies.

As a result of her experiences, Dr. Turndorf has developed a groundbreaking form of grief therapy that diverges from the traditional Western approach (grieve, let go and move on). By contrast, her method guides people to reconnect and, if needed, make peace with their departed loved ones. Her latest Hay House book on this topic is entitled Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased.

To understand fully what Old Scars are, how they are formed, how they affect your relationships, and how to heal them, read my book Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased.

For Free Gift details or to receive a sneak peek of Love Never DIes, visit the book page: http://askdrlove.com/page/love-never-dies-how-reconnect-and-make-peace-deceased.

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