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She Wants Help To Resolve Her Dateless Dilemma



She Wants Help To Resolve Her Dateless Dilemma

Self-affirmations for a dateless woman

Dear Dr. Love: I feel like I am different than many people on your column, because I rarely can get dates. I am somewhat picky but often like several people in one year.

I am 37 and have spent most of the last 15 years alone. I don’t know what’s wrong, I think I am fairly pretty, definitely cute, a little overweight. I know also that in my childhood my father left for a very pretty woman, and my mom and I were left alone.

Since she looked like me, and I thought the other woman was prettier, and since my father was very handsome, I felt that you had to be very pretty to get a date. However, I am ready to change this attitude and I am tired of being alone.

Any help? Thanks.

Signed by:

Dear Dateless You are very insightful and actually have your problem figured out. You have a mindset that says pretty women get the guy. Your own history has proven that to be so. And, since you never felt as pretty as the girl who stole your daddy’s heart, you have it figured that you aren’t worthy of finding your Mr. Right, let alone a date.

The question is how do you break free of this dateless cycle?

You really need to reprogram your mind. There are many ways to do this. You can do cognitive therapy. You can do hypnosis, which is designed to literally alter your neuroassociations.

You can also try self-affirmations, which is like self-hypnosis. With self-affirmations you are actually reprogramming your mind all by yourself. To do this you reiterate positive statements to yourself. The idea is to replace your current views with healthier ones.

Note that all affirmations are stated as ‘done deals’ meaning you don’t talk about what you want to have in the future, but rather speak as though what you desire has already occurred. For example you might say: I am swamped with dates.

You might also create affirmations that counteract your belief that only knock-outs get dates. This affirmation might sound like, ‘I am attractive enough to interest many different men.’ Post your affirmations on the fridge and on the bathroom mirror, and say them out loud in the morning, throughout the day, and before bedtime. Then, sit back and start numbering your dates.

Author’s Books

Known to millions as "Dr. Love" through her website, Dr. Turndorf founded the web's first and immensely popular relationship advice column in 1995. She consistently attracts new fans and keeps her existing audience engaged through her compassionate understanding as well as her frank delivery and earthy sense of humor. At the same time, she puts her listeners at ease while digging deeply in their psyches and prescribing her signature cure. Dr. Turndorf's multimedia platform allows her to share relevant and timely advice via radio, online, in print and on television. Her radio show, "Ask Dr. Love," can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on WebTalkRadio, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide. Her column entitled "We Can Work it Out," is published monthly online in Psychology Today. Her critically acclaimed books have been teaching readers the hard and fast facts to healing relationships for years. Dr. Turndorf's methods have been featured on national television networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS, VH1 and Fox, and on websites such as WebMD, iVillage,, She has also been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire. Dr. Turndorf’s latest Hay House book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship, has been endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors Jack Canfield, Dr. John Gray and John Bradshaw. Since the recent death of Emile Jean Pin, her beloved husband of 27 years, Dr. Turndorf has discovered that relationships do not end in death. His miraculous manifestations, often in front of witnesses, have proven to her that there is life after life and love never dies. As a result of her experiences, Dr. Turndorf has developed a groundbreaking form of grief therapy that diverges from the traditional Western approach (grieve, let go and move on). By contrast, her method guides people to reconnect and, if needed, make peace with their departed loved ones. Her latest Hay House book on this topic is entitled Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. To understand fully what Old Scars are, how they are formed, how they affect your relationships, and how to heal them, read my book Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. For Free Gift details or to receive a sneak peek of Love Never DIes, visit the book page:

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