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Why Doesn’t He Call Me?

why doesn't he call me


Why Doesn’t He Call Me?

Here are 5 of the most likely explanations in answer to the question “why doesn’t he call me?”

How many times have you waited too long for a man to call and ask you out again after you had an amazing time together? He seemed truly interested, but then you never heard from him again. Why does this happen for so many women? And what does it mean about men?

Here are the 5 most common reasons why men don’t call back, even after a great date:

Reason #1: He’s Having Trouble Being Honest

If you and a man hit it off, trade numbers, talk for a while or trade emails, but he never seems to make the initiative to actually see you – then something else is going on. Men often have a hard time sharing the truth about their feelings with women they’ve just met. Maybe he’s already seeing someone else. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute — are you dating anyone interesting right now?” Invite honesty from men and you’ll get it. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy.

Reason #2: He’s Just Looking For a Fling

If a man really likes you, but he is more interested in a casual encounter and senses you’re not that kind of girl, he’ll move on — partially out of respect for you (or his own selfish desires). In either case, the timing is off. Not calling you back was his way of letting you know where he’s at without having to say it directly. Take heart — in this case he’s actually doing you a favor by not calling.

Reason #3: He Was Just Being Polite

Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, all the while dreading the idea of ever talking to him again? Men do something similar with women. Sometimes men can enjoy a conversation with you but not really be interested in anything more. In this case, a man was just being polite by asking for your number.

Reason #4: He Lost Interest

He was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change his mind about you. In this case, maybe he sensed some anxiety from you that he didn’t know how to figure out or handle. Or maybe he sensed a bit of desperation (“You’re going to call me, right?”). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a man knows you is a sure attraction-killer. Relax. If he’ll call he’ll call. If not, you know he wasn’t the right one at the right time.

Reason #5: He Lost Your Number or Forgot to Call

Yes, sometimes this really happens. Men lose your number and can’t call. Unfortunately, when it does, some women fill their heads with all kinds of not-so-happy stories that don’t make them feel great.

Now with these 5 reasons, what do all of the situations of how a man behaves and whether or not he calls have in common?

For starters, none of these 5 reasons have anything to do with who you are as a woman. If you don’t know it yet, it’s your choice to give the situations you come across with men the meaning you want. Here’s what I mean by that:

If you’re criticizing yourself because a guy didn’t pick up the phone and call you right away, you might end up feeling hurt or confused. And the next time you do get on the phone and try and have a casual conversation with that man, or another man, that confusion or fear comes across in lots of subtle ways. When this happens often times the conversation just won’t feel right to a man. And here’s the thing — men can sense this whether you know it or not.

If you can choose to make more positive meaning for yourself with the things you don’t yet understand about men or dating, odds are just making this small shift for yourself will have big impact on your success and finding and connecting with the right man.  And if you’d like to get more free tips and find out about the programs I’ve put together over the years that have helped thousands of women — single and in relationships — and you think there’s something to having a man tell you the inside scoop on what men are really thinking …

Check out my free emails and tips.

I’ll talk to you again soon and best of luck in life and love,

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

[Christian Carter]


Since 2005, Christian Carter has helped over 3 million women become more successful with men, dating and relationships. He helps women understand the male perspective on attraction, dating and commitment, and why men behave the way they do in relationships. Readers see Christian as that no-nonsense guy friend who will give them the inside scoop on what a man wants and what he's really thinking.

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