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Do You Really Believe He’s Worried About Age Difference?

age difference


Do You Really Believe He’s Worried About Age Difference?

Is a fear of age difference masking his real fear?

I am romantically involved with a much younger woman.

She does not seem to worry about our age difference, but I do. Every thing else being equal, at what point should a couple be really concerned? 20 years difference? 30 years? 40 years? 50 years? Any advice??

Signed by:
I’m worried

Your question reminds me of a bit that I heard on Car Talk.

A man calls in and asks about his girlfriend’s car. He then says, ‘I’m really not calling about the car. I’m calling to say that my girlfriend is quite a bit younger than I am and I wanted to ask you if you think I should continue seeing her’. One of the Car Talk hosts asks how much younger she is. He says 30 years. The other host says, ‘an age difference like that can be fatal’, to which the other host replies, ‘If she dies, she dies.’ But seriously folks. . . .

You need to keep in mind that the things we worry about rarely come to pass. The disasters we brace for that never come. Because, as I’ve seen, fate always seems to serve a curve ball that we never saw coming. . . . So why live in the future. Why brace for imaginary disasters. You could end up getting hit by a bus tomorrow! So don’t focus on rules.

Couples can be miserable and incompatible even though they are the same age, and couples with a great age difference can be very compatible and happy together. What matters is whether you love each other and whether you enjoy your life together. If you do, then why not treasure the gift and enjoy it for as long as you live.

This being said, I also think you need to flesh out what frightens you about the age difference. Are you afraid that you won’t be able to hold her as you grow older? Are you worried that you won’t be able to satisfy her sexually as you age? Are you fearful that she’ll drop you later in life?

It’s vital that you figure out the origin of your fear. When you do, you will then be in a position to resolve the real issue that troubles you. As your self-reflection will soon reveal, your concern over the age difference is a smokescreen for a deeper fear. We need to identify that fear and work it through. Then you will feel free to move forward with her and enjoy your life together.

Source:HrrisHefner 620 123112


Author’s Books

Known to millions as "Dr. Love" through her website, Dr. Turndorf founded the web's first and immensely popular relationship advice column in 1995. She consistently attracts new fans and keeps her existing audience engaged through her compassionate understanding as well as her frank delivery and earthy sense of humor. At the same time, she puts her listeners at ease while digging deeply in their psyches and prescribing her signature cure. Dr. Turndorf's multimedia platform allows her to share relevant and timely advice via radio, online, in print and on television. Her radio show, "Ask Dr. Love," can be heard in Seattle on KKNW and on WebTalkRadio, which broadcasts in 80 countries worldwide. Her column entitled "We Can Work it Out," is published monthly online in Psychology Today. Her critically acclaimed books have been teaching readers the hard and fast facts to healing relationships for years. Dr. Turndorf's methods have been featured on national television networks, including CNN, NBC, CBS, VH1 and Fox, and on websites such as WebMD, iVillage,, She has also been featured in magazines such as Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Glamour, American Woman, Modern Bride, and Marie Claire. Dr. Turndorf’s latest Hay House book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship, has been endorsed by New York Times bestselling authors Jack Canfield, Dr. John Gray and John Bradshaw. Since the recent death of Emile Jean Pin, her beloved husband of 27 years, Dr. Turndorf has discovered that relationships do not end in death. His miraculous manifestations, often in front of witnesses, have proven to her that there is life after life and love never dies. As a result of her experiences, Dr. Turndorf has developed a groundbreaking form of grief therapy that diverges from the traditional Western approach (grieve, let go and move on). By contrast, her method guides people to reconnect and, if needed, make peace with their departed loved ones. Her latest Hay House book on this topic is entitled Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. To understand fully what Old Scars are, how they are formed, how they affect your relationships, and how to heal them, read my book Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased. For Free Gift details or to receive a sneak peek of Love Never DIes, visit the book page:

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