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You Need To Really Love Yourself To Weaken False Beliefs

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Personal Development

You Need To Really Love Yourself To Weaken False Beliefs

The key to weakening false beliefs about yourself is to love yourself!

Have you found that the same false beliefs keep coming up over and over – even though intellectually you know they aren’t true? This is what Betty is struggling with:

“Many times I have identified a false belief through my guidance but I find that almost all the time, I slip back into the old belief- even though my guidance has provided me with the truth. Do you have any suggestions about helping to really integrate the truth? Have you found anything that works for you?”

There are two steps to healing a false belief. The first is what Betty is referring to – going to your Guidance for the truth.

The second step is that you have to consistently treat yourself according to the truth. For example, you discover that your false belief is that you aren’t good enough, and then you go to your Guidance for the truth. Your Guidance tells you that you are a beautiful spark of the Divine, so of course you are good enough. But then, if you continue to abandon yourself – by ignoring your feelings by staying focused in your head, or by judging yourself, or by numbing your feelings with addictions, or by making someone else responsible for loving you and making you feel safe and worthy – why would your inner child believe you?

To heal a false belief, you need to consistently treat yourself like you would treat a beautiful spark of the Divine. Only when you do this, and do it over time, will the false belief heal.

Rob asked the following question about false beliefs during one of my courses:

“I have a question about false beliefs of the wounded self. I have identified a couple of debilitating beliefs that actually result in feelings of apathy and despair and since I tend to be a little OCD, they tend to persist. I know in my mind that the beliefs are false but they are still in my subconscious. There is still emotional charge on them. My question is: will just observing them cause them to diminish over time and vanish or do I need to do something additional? Maybe I need to pray for guidance on how to replace the false belief with a true one. Is this something that I should dialogue with my higher self about? I am confused about the mental versus the emotional components of beliefs. Thank you for this great course, it’s really amazing and helps me clarify many things.”

I told Rob the same thing I told Betty – it’s treating ourselves lovingly that heals false beliefs. Healing beliefs is not simply an intellectual process – it takes loving action. Apathy and despair are indications of self-abandonment, so Rob would need to explore how he is abandoning himself, and what action(s) would be loving to himself, in order to begin to heal the false beliefs. The more he treats his inner child as a cherished being, the more the false beliefs get healed.

I know this from my personal experience and my experience with thousands of clients. When I now look at lists of false beliefs I used to have, I’m so grateful that I don’t have them anymore. It took time and much Inner Bonding practice to heal them, but the neural pathways for these beliefs that were housed in my lower brain have been replaced with new neural pathways in my higher brain – pathways based on the truth rather then the lies of the wounded self. It was not only knowing about the false beliefs, but focused loving action that created these strong new neural pathways.

You will find that the more you take loving action on your own behalf, the weaker your false beliefs become.

[Margaret Paul Relationship Toolbox]


CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids?, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967. Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world -- mostly on the phone. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest®, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding® and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public. Margaret is passionate about helping people rapidly heal the root cause of their pain and learn the path to joy and loving relationships. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride horses, and spend time with her grandchildren.

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