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Heed Your Feelings To Stop Being Manipulated



Heed Your Feelings To Stop Being Manipulated

  • Do you know how to discern when someone is being transparent and authentic and when they are being duplicitous?

We seem to be living in a time when authenticity and transparency are not highly valued. We have only to look at government and many government agencies such as the FDA, politics, the military, big corporations, some religious leaders, drug companies, insurance companies and the media to see that manipulation and lies are the norm. Many of us have naturally come to mistrust much of what is being said in the media.

People become inauthentic when they have something to hide, and they are transparent when they are coming from integrity.

How can you know when someone is being authentic and transparent, or lying and manipulating? The answer is to learn to trust your feelings.

I rarely watch presidential debates because I can feel how much lying and manipulating is going on. I can’t stand watching commercials – especially food and drug commercials – for the same reason. Same with a lot of the news. I get a yucky, creepy feeling in my body that feels so bad I have to not listen.

Obviously, the intent to control is far more important to all these people and organizations than the intent to be loving to themselves and others. I often wonder – how can they live with themselves? It’s so obvious that power and greed have taken them over and they have completely lost touch with their loving essence. Perhaps they even believe they are being loving to themselves by trying to control everything and everyone.

Having worked with some of these people, I know that they are not happy, peaceful people. Their inner emptiness is so huge that they have to get more and more stuff and attention to stave off their pain. A friend of mine recently worked with a well-known financial success guru. He had been very excited to be hired to work with him, and I was interested in hearing how it went. “It was a disaster,” he told me over lunch. “The guy has no depth at all. Everything about him is superficial. He couldn’t take any of my suggestions due to his ego. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.”

Interesting. Many people I know have taken this man’s workshops, but I’ve never been drawn to do so, because his energy in his videos has felt awful to me. I’m so glad I trusted myself!

There is an energy – a frequency – to authenticity, transparency and integrity that feels clean and light. There is also a frequency to inauthenticity. Sometimes it’s hard to feel it because the person may be very charismatic and sound so sincere. This is why it is very important to move beyond the external and let yourself be aware of the feelings in your body. Since people cannot hide their intent, if you trust your feelings you will be able to pick up the frequency of manipulation and duplicity. When watching politicians, I can hear my inner Guidance saying things like, “He gives me the heebie jeebies.” “Her energy makes me sick.” “Oh Yuck!” (My inner Guidance doesn’t mince words!)

On the other hand, when I feel tingles and shivers, I know that I’m hearing the truth. I also feel an expansiveness inside when someone is being authentic, as opposed to the constriction I often feel when someone is being inauthentic.

I have a much harder time picking all this up when it is someone I believe I know well and care for. This is likely challenging for all of us. When you love someone and connect with their essence, it’s often hard to be aware of when they are in their ego wounded self, being manipulative and deceitful. Sometimes we need others who are not so involved to help with this.

I encourage everyone to work towards trusting your feelings about others, as well as becoming truly authentic and transparent yourselves. It’s a much easier way to live than trying to hide.

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Find out how Inner Bonding has helped Alanis Morissette to evolve in her courage to love.

Author’s Books

CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids?, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967. Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world -- mostly on the phone. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest®, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding® and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public. Margaret is passionate about helping people rapidly heal the root cause of their pain and learn the path to joy and loving relationships. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride horses, and spend time with her grandchildren.

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