If you ask men in happy, committed relationships why they chose to spend their lives with one particular woman, certain emotions and experiences will pop up. What is it that makes a man give up his freedom for the love of one woman and not another? I’ll tell you. It all has to do with the way you make him feel.
YOU’RE THE ONE WHEN…HE FEELS HE’S WINNING WITH YOU
You know how little boys love comic books and superheroes? It starts when we’re young – we want to feel powerful, we want to save the day, we want to be admired and appreciated. And when we grow up, nothing’s better than feeling that with the special woman in our life.
If he’s a good man and you want to make your relationship go the distance, then make him feel like your hero. Compliment him, tell him how much you appreciate him when he does something that makes you happy, let him know how excited and proud you are to be with him. When you make him feel like a winner who’s doing things right, he’ll want to hold onto that feeling…with you.
On the other hand, if you want to shatter a man’s attraction for you right away, then criticize him, belittle him, and make him feel like he’s never living up to your expectations. (And if you really feel this way with the man you’re with, then you need to question why you’re with him in the first place.)
YOU’RE THE ONE WHEN…HE FEELS YOU ACCEPT HIM AS HE IS
Ask any guy what makes him back away from a relationship, and he’ll probably tell you this: “She kept trying to change me.” Men are not that different from you. We don’t want someone coming in and telling us we need to be better or different. Because when a woman wants to change us, it makes us feel that we’re WRONG. And that doesn’t feel good.
Realize that no person is going to be without things you don’t like, just like YOU’LL have parts about you that a man isn’t thrilled with. The key is looking at the whole package in a man and loving all of it – even if you sometimes don’t like some of the individual parts. They are what make him who he is – and he’ll recognize you’re the woman for him when you love him for ALL of it.
YOU’RE THE ONE WHEN…HE FEELS UNDERSTOOD BY YOU
Unlike women, guys don’t tend to talk through their feelings with each other. They save that for the one special woman in their lives. So it’s a great sign if your guy wants to talk with you about what’s bothering him when it comes to his life, his career, his family, and his day-to-day stuff.
Your job is to listen without judgment – to be there for him and to offer your advice if he asks for it. If he keeps talking, it means he feels comfortable and safe with you. He begins to think he can tell you anything. You want to be that safe landing spot for your man – not just because it brings you closer together, but because he’ll recognize he has a woman who truly understands him.
YOU’RE THE ONE WHEN…HE FEELS HIS LIFE IS BETTER WITH YOU IN IT
A man feels compelled to get closer to you and spend more time with you as a result of the experiences he has with you – the POSITIVE experiences. He starts to feel like your relationship – and, by extension, his life – is easier, better, more fulfilling.
So focus on building a solid foundation with him by creating positive experiences together. Do fun and different things with him. Get to know each other in a variety of contexts – both alone and with friends and family. When he sees how well you fit into his life and how much joy you bring him, he will see you as a necessary part of his life – one he’ll never want to be without.