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Making Friends Is Easier Than People Seem To Think

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Making Friends Is Easier Than People Seem To Think

Why you needn’t be afraid of making friends

Doctor….reading ur blog regularly tells me I should face up to things I find uncomfortable. Well, Im friendly but retire at making friends… I have been to my gym 6 months but have not made ONE friend. Generally I do better in an office kinda environment. Like there is a popular guy I would like to know but dont know what to say so…Forget the guy …Just pls give me tips for making friends and find courage to do stuff I find hard to do..Thanks!!

If you look around, you will find that men and women approach each other by speaking and behaving in relatively straightforward ways. You have to aim to be friendly. And you have to start the conversation. If you are not open and welcoming, you will be perceived as cold, if you are noticed at all. What you say does not matter much. “Hi,” will do, with a smile. A patient of mine (a woman) was approached by a stranger who asked “Do you like carrots?” Later on, after they knew each other she asked him why he said that. He replied that it was the only thing that sprang quickly to mind. You do not have to be sensible or especially provocative. Anything will do. Here are some of the things someone might say at a gym. You can ask about:
what the other person thinks of the equipment

whether he/she has been coming to the gym for a while

whether the other person manages to get away from work to be there.

the weather.

You can make a comment about yourself:
“I don’t seem to lose weight no matter how many of these things I push around”

“I almost didn’t get here today because of the traffic.”

After an initial contact, it is appropriate to ask a personal question, such as where the other person lives and works. Etc.

You should consider that the initial approach must be made by you, whether you are a man or a woman. Nothing awful will happen. The other person will not turn away with a sneer, or spit on the ground. If someone is unreponsive, fine, approach someone else. After you have entered into a conversation a couple of times, it is always appropriate to ask the other person whether he/she would like to get a cup of coffee. If you are like many of my patients, you are now saying to yourself, “I could never do that.” But you can.

Credit:Beautiful picture I took of my best friend, … | Christmas/FamilyPic from

Author’s Books and Kindle – Click for Amazon Reviews

Fred Neuman, M.D. is the Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center. After serving as Associate Director for 21 years, Dr. Neuman assumed the directorship in 1994. Educated at Princeton University and the NYU College of Medicine, Dr. Neuman specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders. He is the author of the following books: Caring: Home Treatment for the Emotionally Disturbed, Fighting Fear: An Eight Week Guide to Treating Your Own Phobias, Worried Sick?: The Exaggerated Fear of Physical Illness, and Worried Sick? The Workbook. Dr. Neuman is also the author of numerous magazine and newspaper articles on the efficacy of Cognitive/Behavioral Therapy for the treatment of anxiety disorders. Dr. Neuman is a member of the American Psychiatric Society, The American Association for the Advancement of Science and the New York Academy of Science. Dr. Neuman is also the author of the following novels: "The Seclusion Room," Viking Press. "Maneuvers" Dial Press "Come One, Come All," "The Wicked Son," "Detroit Tom and His Gang" "Superpowers." All these books are available from Amazon.

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