How to create real emotional intimacy with a man
In order to have the relationship you’ve always wanted, you need to be able to create true intimacy with a man. Intimacy isn’t about being physical – it’s what happens when two people feel safe enough to reveal themselves emotionally in front of each other. It takes two to create this kind of intimacy. Here’s what you can do:
CREATE THE NECESSARY SAFETY
What makes a man fall for one woman and not another? She’s the one who makes him feel accepted for who he is, warts and all. Unless you can create this safety with a man, he will not be able to let his guard down with you…and share the emotional intimacy required for a lasting relationship.
A powerful way to create safety with a man is to withhold judgment and show him tons of appreciation. When you don’t judge a man or criticize him, he will feel accepted by you. He won’t feel that you will reject him. As a result, he starts to become more and more comfortable in your presence until he realizes you are the woman he needs in his life.
So, say a man takes you to see a show, and it turns out to be a real downer. Instead of talking about the finer points of the performance, tell him how happy it made you that he made plans with you, and how great it feels simply to spend time with him. When he feels he can do things right with you, he will feel that you appreciate and accept him for who he is. The more he feels accepted, the more intimacy develops.
BE OPEN AND VULNERABLE
Another way to instantly make a man feel safe in your presence, let down his guard, and create emotional intimacy is to allow yourself to be vulnerable first. This means you let him in on your real feelings rather than keeping them bottled up.
Say you’re on your first date with him and you’re feeling nervous. Tell him! When you’re not afraid to express how you feel, he will find it endearing and feel it’s also safe for him to tell you what he’s really feeling.
When you speak from your heart, you do something very powerful: you are unleashing your inner Siren – the mesmerizing, feminine part that makes a man fall in love. And when that happens, you’re opening the door for more intimacy than you’ve ever imagined.
LET GO OF THE NEED TO CONTROL
Real intimacy isn’t forced or planned ahead. It’s what happens when you let go of the need to know where things are going and instead allow a relationship to unfold naturally. Let yourself be surprised.
The next time you go on a date, curb your tendency to predict what will become of you and this new man. Be fully present in the moment; otherwise you are missing a chance to build the kinds of moments that will make him crave being with you. Being fully present in the moment also lets you be more in touch with your feelings and express them to him. He’ll sense that you trust him enough to let things unfold, and he will feel almost compelled to come closer to you.
The intimacy – and relationship – you’ve always wanted is totally possible when you make a man feel safe and speak directly from your heart. It’s a magical way to forge a connection so deep and lasting with him, he won’t ever want to let you go.