The problem with fake orgasm, as you have discovered is how to get out of the lie without revealing that you’ve been lying all along. I will help you get out of this lie, but first, let’s backtrack for a second and talk about orgasms.

The main reason why women fake orgasm is because they are not having orgasm with their lover and don’t want to hurt their lovers’ feelings by telling them so. Usually, the faking occurs at the start of a relationship, when a woman feels worried that she will lose her lover if she tells him that he can’t get her off. So, she fakes it to keep him. And, before long she is stuck.

You would never have been faking orgasm if he were able to give you one. So, the first problem to tackle is why you weren’t having an orgasm.

Some women aren’t orgasmic with their lovers because they don’t know how to be orgasmic period. If this is true, a woman must first learn to be orgasmic on her own. Then, she can train her partner to pleasure her to orgasm.

The main way women learn to be orgasmic is through masturbation ( self-pleasuring). Lonnie Barbach’s book called, For Yourself, explains how a woman can stimulate her clitoris to orgasm. Each woman requires different stimulation. The bottom line is to relax and experiment. Some women like to masturbate in the tub or shower. Some women like lotions. The point is to touch your body and discover what feels good. Some women achieve orgasm by rubbing their thighs together, others must directly massage their clitorises with a finger or hand.

When you have an orgasm, you will know it. Some people describe it as a sneeze of the genitals. Others have stronger, pounding, throbbing explosive pleasure. Some women emit a fluid at orgasm. There are no right or wrong orgasms.

Once you learn what works, then you can communicate your findings to your lover. Not over the breakfast table, but in bed. And, the way you let your lover know what you like is to guide his hand or mouth to where you want it to be. Then, using words of encouragement, say, that feels good when you go faster, harder, slower, softer, yes, that’s right.

Bottom line, when training your man, encourage don’t criticize. Every man responds to praise and encouragement, and if a man knows that he is pleasing you, he will try to continue and build on what works.

Now, back to the question, how can you get out of the lie. Once you are sure that you know what brings you to orgasm, you can tell your lover that you have discovered something that really excites you and ask him if he’d like you to show him. Most guys will jump at the chance to give their lovers more pleasure.

You could also tell him that your body is changing and you are discovering that you need different types of stimulation to achieve orgasm.

Or, you can simply show him what to do when you’re in bed and really encourage him to follow your lead with words and encouraging sounds.

This should solve your problem. If you are still stuck, let me know.

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