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Why Be Moody When You Could Be Happy?

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Emotional balance

Why Be Moody When You Could Be Happy?

What causes someone to become moody and what’s the antidote?

Disappointment + Rumination = Moodiness

Ever feel moody without it descending into a full blown mood disorder?

Moody usually means that you’re disappointed in someone, something or in yourself and then you can’t stop thinking about it or let it go.

When it crosses over into physiological disturbances of sleep, appetite, sexual desire or just an unshakable dark feeling, and stays stuck there, it has then crossed over into a mood disorder.  If that is the case, what follows might help, but it will usually not be sufficient and you may want to consult your doctor, a psychiatrist or a psychologist.

Disappointment can be thought of as either disappointment or dysappointment.

Disappointment means that an expectation you had, didn’t happen.  Nothing more, nothing less.  If you are emotionally resilient, you won’t feel any emotional let down. Instead you’ll be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.  And hopefully with time you’ll be able to develop better judgment and therefore be able to set expecations that you can meet so as to lessen your disappointment. Or you can set unrealistic expectations if you can accept and then handle the more frequent disappointments that are part and parcel of setting them so high.

Dysappointment is disappointment that you imbue with extra emotional baggage which causes you emotional pain.  You find a way to be angry at someone else or at yourself and then that anger causes you pain.

Dysappointment is different from frustration.  When you feel frustrated with either someone else, something or yourself, that seems to compel you to takes some angry action towards whoever or whatever you’re frustrated with or about. If that is the case, you may take some action in the heat of your frustration, that momentarily relieves you, but then you run the risk of feeling guilty or ashamed about whatever you did.

If you tend towards obsessive traits you may then have difficulty letting go of thatdysappointment or frustration and when that happens you become moody.

A simple notion to keep in mind in dealing with this is that it nearly impossible to feel disappointment or frustrated and pleasure at the same time.

Dopamine is a natural neurotransmitter (or one that is increased by medication and some recreational drugs) that appears to underlie or at least be associated with pleasure.  It can be triggered through exercise and a variety of natural supplements and foods.

So… if you are feeling dysappointed or frustrated, taking any measures to increase dopamine may cause you to feel pleasure and consequently cause your moodiness to dissipate

If you don’t have an obsessive nature, just increasing your dopamine might be sufficient to lift your mood.

If however you do have an obsessive nature and dwell/ruminate on things, you might then consider adding things to your life that increase serotonin.  Serotonin seems to lessen such dwelling and makes it easier let things go. Exercise, various supplements and foods can help increase serotonin.

And if the above doesn’t shake you free from your moodiness, don’t suffer needlessly and go seek professional help.

Life is too short to accept moodiness or a mood disorder when you don’t have to.

[Mark Goulston]

Mark Goulston, M.D. is a business advisor, consultant, speaker, trainer and coach trained as a clinical psychiatrist who honed his skills as an FBI/police hostage negotiation trainer who increases people’s ability to get through to anyone.

He is Co- Founder of Heartfelt Leadership whose Mission is: Daring to Care and Go Positive Now and is the Resident Big Brother at Business Women Rising and serves on the Board of Advisers of American Women Veterans and Dr. Oz’ foundation, Health Corps.

He is the author of international best selling book, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (AMACOM, $24.95) which has reached #1 at amazon kindle in six business categories, #1 in China and Germany , #1 in audible audiobooks and has been translated into fourteen languages. Dr. Goulston and his book was also a PBS special entitled “Just Listen with Dr. Mark Goulston.” His next book, REAL INFLUENCE: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In, co-authored with Dr. John Ullment will be the lead book for the American Management Association in January, 2013 and will focus on influencing people in a post-selling world.

Dr. Goulston’s development of those skills started with his education: a B.A. from UC Berkeley, an M.D. from Boston University, post graduate residency in psychiatry at UCLA. He went on to be a professor at UCLA’s internationally renowned Neuropsychiatric Institute for more than twenty years, become a Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and was named one of America’s Top Psychiatrists for 2004-2005 and again in 2009 and 2011 by Washington, D.C. based Consumers’ Research Council of America.

A partial list of companies, organizations and universities he has trained, spoken to, provided executive coaching to or consulted with include: GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Xerox, Deutsche Bank, Hyatt, Accenture, Astra Zenica, British Airways, Sodexo, ESPN, Kodak, Federal Express, YPO, YPOWPO India, Association for Corporate Growth, FBI, Los Angeles District Attorney, White & Case, Seyfarth Shaw, UCLA Anderson School of Management, USC, Pepperdine University.

He is or has been a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and is the best selling author of four prior books including the international best seller, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior (Perigee, $13.95) Get Out of Your Own Way at Work…and Help Others Do the Same (Perigee, $14.95), is a contributor to Harvard Business, blogs for the Huffington Post, Business Insider writes the Tribune media syndicated column, Solve Anything with Dr. Mark, column on leadership for FAST COMPANY, Directors Monthly. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, Today.

Dr. Goulston lives in Los Angeles with his wife and three children.

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