Dear Uncle Slash,
I am a attractive, 42 year old women, with one grown child. I have a job, a car, and live alone. I have tried a few online dating sites and no luck, I don’t have friends so I don’t go out much. I would like to find someone to settle down with and that is ready to settle down. Any advice as to how to find this person?
Out of options
Dear Out of Options,
In one of my favorite books “Travels with Charley” by John Steinbeck, the author goes on a road trip across the United States with his poodle Charley in a custom made camper named Riconante (named after Don Quixote’s horse). What I remember most from the book are Steinbeck’s occasional searches for random, specific objects.
For example, in one town he searches for a tiny, toy horse.
His arbitrary quests give him a specific mission – a mission that takes him out of his somber reality. Mainly, that he’s a guy driving around the country alone in a truck with a dog.
With each random, specific quest, he becomes something much more – a man with a mission. And no matter how inane his search, he eventually finds himself surrounded by others who want to help him find exactly what he’s seeking.
Judging from your loquacious query to me, Sweetster, I suggest you take your lead from Mr. Steinbeck and create your own quest for at least one random, specific object.
And, don’t overthink it. The more absurd, the more spontaneous, the more mundane the better. If this particular something makes you giggle like a six-year-old, it’s a good sign. If this particular something doesn’t make you giggle like a six-year-old, even better.
Let your intuition be your guide. It’s in this deep seeking random, specific place, a place guided by your silly heart instead of your overly analytical head, where you’ll find everything you seek*.
So, take some of that money you make with your job and gas up your car and put your attractive, 42-year-old self in the drivers seat and make a detour on your next drive home from work. In looking for something else you’ll most likely find exactly what you need. And all you need right now, Sweetster, is a desire to go on a quest.
*Please note: Skydiving, riding camels, drinking coffee made from beans excreted by the Asian Pam Civet and participating in singles events that do little more than offer you a cornball photo op for your dating profile, aren’t going to make you any less single.