3 Reasons Childless Couples Are More Faithful
Not having kids can mean a happier marriage.
Ellen L. Walker, Ph.D.
Dr. Walker’s evaluation approach is based on gaining practical answers and solutions to the concerns you have. She will assist you by communicating with your physician or other referral source and/or helping you to seek out your own resources.
Dr. Walker is a solution-focused therapist. She strives to work with clients in achieving a greater understanding of how current and past thoughts, actions, and circumstances affect current emotions. Her goal is to assist clients in development and utilization of their individual personal resources in their treatment.
Background and Clinical Training
Dr. Walker’s first counseling experience came in 1983, when she began volunteer work as a telephone crisis counselor in Jackson, Mississippi and then Tokyo, Japan. She has been in private practice in Bellingham since 1991. Dr. Walker was a co-facilitator of the newly formed Adult ADHD Support Group in Bellingham back in the early 1990’s. She served on the board and was president of the Northwest Behavioral Health Independent Practice Association, an organization with over 150 mental health private practitioners.
Dr. Walker earned her master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Southern Mississippi in 1986. She returned to school at Seattle Pacific University for her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, completing this degree in 2000.
Licensure and Professional Memberships
Dr. Walker attained her Washington State Psychology license in 2001. Every three years, she completes a minimum of sixty hours of continuing education. She is a member of the American Psychological Association (APA), the Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA), the Learning Disabilities Association of Washington State (LDAWA), Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). She is listed as a referral psychologist with each of these organizations.
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New study finds childless couples are more likely to be faithful
This past weekend I stumbled across a new study(link is external) conducted by culture and trend expert Melissa Lavigne-Delville in which 1,000 people age 18 to 49 were asked about patterns of infidelity. Lavigne-Delville found that 18 percent of parents said they’ve been unfaithful in their marriages, compared to 11 percent of childless married people.
According to Lavigne-Delville, many parents found emotional fulfillment through social network connections such as Facebook. So, let’s consider some possible explanations for why childless couples are less likely to be unfaithful.
1) The way childless partners relate to one another does not change as much over time. Couples start out feeling like romantic and sexual partners, but once the first child comes along they frequently begin to see each other as Mom and Dad. I often hear spouses refer to one another by these titles, which further establishes these new roles as primary after children are born. Becoming a parent doesn’t neuter your need for romance, and taking a few minutes to go on line to meet this need is doable, even while raising a family.
2) There’s more time for sex. Couples report a decline in sex(link is external) after having children. Once again, childless couples don’t go through this dramatic shift in their lives. They may, as most couples do, experience a gradual decline in sexual activity over time, but this cannot compare with the sudden halt that typically comes after the birth of the first child. In fact, it’s not safe to have sex soon after childbirth and couples are advised(link is external) to wait from two to six weeks to re-engage.
3) Childless couples have more time to spend together. If you’ve spent time around small children, you know that they tend to command the attention of the adults in the room. An infant does so because most everyone thinks he or she is so darned cute, and toddlers and pre-schoolers do because they seem to require constant interaction. When a couple is childless, they can continue to engage in the same adult activities they’ve always enjoyed together. The childless couples I interviewed for my book, Complete without Kids(link is external), tended to be best friends who shared leisure time together every day.
What are your thoughts on the study? Do you agree or disagree with the findings? Please share a few examples from your own personal experiences.