Online dating rules need to be followed if you want to achieve online dating success. Most dating sites do provide excellent matchmaking features that make it a lot easier to find people with whom you are compatible but that doesn’t mean you can just sit back and wait for people to contact you!
If you are really serious about finding your soul mate online you need to put in some effort and learn the rules for online dating to ensure your success.
I can guarantee you that if you put no effort into preparing your profile, don’t add any pictures and wait for people to contact you you are setting yourself up for failure.
Follow these 12 rules of online dating and you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes. You could see results immediately meeting people you would never have met before so don’t sit on the sidelines, make sure you stand out from the crowd online and take the initiative by contacting people you like today.
1. Let your light shine through
Everyone has certain characteristics that makes them unique and that includes you. Highlight what makes you different and special in your profile and be proud of who you are and what you stand for. You’ll then attract the people who are looking for someone like you and that’s what you want isn’t it?
You absolutely must add an attractive picture of yourself to your profile or face the consequences of not doing so – other members assuming you look hideous and not contacting you. Worse still you won’t even be included in their search results because they will probably have selected “only show me members’ profiles with pictures.”
Never wear glasses of any kind including sunglasses to look cool. The eyes are the mirror of the soul and people want to see yours. Don’t be tempted to take one of those hideous pictures of yourself at arms length with your mobile phone either. Get a friend or even a passer-by to take a head and shoulders shot of you.
Please, please don’t be tempted to use a shot of you taken from a million miles away. You see shots taken from that distance cause people to check you out with a magnifying glass suspecting that you look like Godzilla and are trying to disguise the fact!
Incidentally if you really, really want to stand out from the crowd why not upload a personal video. Some dating sites make this very easy to do and it’s well worth the effort because the results will astound you in the huge amount of interest it will arouse.
Make sure you are honest and describe the person you are rather than the person you think people want you to be which will only lead to disappointment later when people discover you are not what they expected.
It’s also a good idea to share your profile with a trusted friend and ask them to check that your description of you is accurate. After all how they see you may be entirely different from how you see yourself and if so you will need to make some changes to your profile before publishing.
It’s not a good idea to make references to previous relationships and only give out enough information about yourself to get people sufficiently interested to want to contact you for more.
Try to be positive too. There’s no greater turn off than someone bleating about how their ex badly treated them or making threats like “Don’t bother contacting me if all you’re interested in is sex” and yes I have seen many comments like this on dating profiles.
“Leave em laughing” as comedians say is a great idea because there’s nothing so attractive as humour so inject some into what you write in your profile.
2. Be flexible in your searches
Don’t be too rigid with your search criteria or you may get few or no results. It’s important to decide before you start searching which criteria are essential as opposed to those that would be nice to have but are not deal breakers.
Sure you can’t start searching for people that tick all the boxes and you may find some that do but be prepared to compromise if you need to.
3. Get to know someone at your own pace
The great thing about online dating is you can take your time getting to know somebody at your own pace, only giving out as much information as you fell comfortable with.
You don’t have to reveal your email address either but instead you can use use the dating site’s secure email system which provides you with your own private mailbox to exchange emails.
Take your time to get to know someone – there’s no need to rush or meet them in person before you’re good and ready. If someone really cares about you, they’ll be prepared to wait.
4. Make the first move
My mother used to say to me “Faint heart never won fair lady” and its only now that I’m beginning to appreciate these words of wisdom and many others she imparted.
So regardless of your sex if you see someone you like be brave and make the first move. At least you know that everyone on a dating site is available and looking for someone to love so bear this in mind if you’re feeling nervous about making the first move. Contact them first and make love happen!
5. Build a rapport
Show that you are interested in getting to know someone by asking questions about their profile.
Give compliments. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you like their, picture, achievements or values but be sincere.
Entertain them and make them laugh! Use witty conversation to amuse and entertain. There’s nothing more attractive than someone who has a keen sense of humour and can make you laugh. If you can do that they’ll look forward to hearing from you.
Teasing is pleasing. People like to be teased too in a good humoured way and it’s a great way to help people relax so that you can get to know them a lot better so don’t take yourself or them too seriously and show that you like to have fun by teasing them.
6. Keep your life story for later
It’s very important to be open and honest when you talk about yourself to give someone the chance to get to know you better but it’s not a good idea to give them your whole life story in one email. You need to give them little snippets in each mail so you always have something interesting to talk about.
7. Arrange a video chat date
Nowadays some dating sites have video chat which is a great way to get to know someone before deciding to take your relationship forward to the first meeting in person. It enables you to see if there’s any chemistry between the two of you or no. If your dating website has this feature I urge you to use it. By doing so you can save yourself a lot of time, money and the disappointment of meeting someone in person who doesn’t live up to your expectations.
8. Talking is good too
If you don’t feel comfortable using video chat or the dating site you belong to doesn’t have this feature you can simply arrange to phone someone. Whilst not as effective as video chat for finding out if there is any chemistry between you, at least you’ll be able to tell if you like the sound of their voice.
If you find it difficult to establish a rapport on the phone, you don’t like the sound of their voice or you find them boring then the chances are this won’t change when you meet them so don’t waste you’re time. However the opposite is also true so if you like the sound of their voice, find them easy to talk to and the conversation fascinating and fun you’ll probably enjoy their company and want to meet them at the earliest opportunity.
9. Don’t be discouraged
You may find you send an email to someone you like and you don’t receive a reply. Don’t be discouraged. They may not have received it, may not have logged in for a while or may be on holiday. Try sending them a second email and see what happens. If you still don’t receive a reply move on to the next person whose profile you like.
10. Give love a chance
Just because someone doesn’t tick all the boxes doesn’t mean to say you should reject them immediately. Reply and find out more about them before making a final decision. You may find that you’re prepared to compromise on the boxes they don’t tick because on reflection they’re not that important to you.
11. Be nice to everyone who contacts you
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You wouldn’t like it if someone was rude or offensive to you so make sure you don’t dish out that kind of treatment to someone you don’t like who contacts you.
You can either ignore their message (this usually works) or tell them politely that you’re not interested. If they are persistent and become a nuisance you can always block their messages since most of the reputable dating sites provide you with this feature.
12. Safety first
Don’t give out any personal details to someone unless and until you know them well and feel it’s 100% safe to do so. Most people on dating sites are genuine but a small minority aren’t what or who they seem to be. Don’t take risks and wait until you feel this is someone you can trust before revealing your name, address, telephone number etc.
Lastly if you don’t receive many responses be prepared to change the content of your profile to make it more interesting or employ the services of a professional copywriter to rewrite it for you.
Now that you know the rules for online dating the rest is up to you. Good luck, remember to have fun and don’t settle for less than your soul mate!