Are you tired of being overweight and food addicted? There is a way to heal.

Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction:

“I am a 22-yr old female weighing 220 lbs with a height of 5.9″. I am very much over-weight and I know this. However the motivation to get fit is not there. I usually tell myself that I will get up early in the morning and work out but that never seems to work out. I see most of my friends modeling and doing things that I would feel too ashamed to do at my size but want to. I really want to get back down to size but don’t know where to start. Can you help me please?”

Pamela, here is what you need to ask yourself: “What is more important to me than getting back down to size?”

Is it more important to you to use food to avoid your painful feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness or heartache? Eating addictively is a form of self-abandonment. You are using food to fill the emptiness within that can only be filled with love – love for yourself. Until you want to learn to love yourself, you will not be motivated to get fit.

When you write that you tell yourself “I will get up early in the morning and work out,” what part of you is telling yourself this? It sounds to me like it is your wounded self who wants to control your weight, rather than your loving Adult self who truly wants to learn about what is loving to you. Then another part goes into resistance to being controlled, so it “never seems to work out.” As long as you are trying to have control over food and exercise, you will likely trigger this resistance.

Instead, you need to compassionately open to learning about how you are abandoning yourself that is creating the inner emptiness and resistance. You cannot force yourself to get fit. When you learn to love and value who you are in your essence, then you will be motivated to take loving care of your body.

Angie writes this question for the same webinar:

“I am addicted to food and I know it’s for comfort and fills a hole/emptiness. But I equate food with Mother Love as my Mum could never be there for us emotionally but boy did she feed you instead. Trouble is I eat when I’m bored, sad, fed up – any blooming reason. I don’t even give myself time to stop and think before I put something in my mouth and it’s usually biscuits etc. – sweet stuff. I’m fifty and I REALLY want to break this pattern – any advice would be much appreciated. It’s almost as if food is my friend – isn’t that terrible!”

Angie, first let’s take the judgement off food being your friend. Your little girl inside needs food as her friend as long as you are treating yourself the way your mother treated you. Your mother was not there for you emotionally, and you have learned to abandon yourself emotionally as well. Food is love because you are not loving yourself. You are using food to comfort your little girl’s feelings that often result from you judging yourself and ignoring your feelings. You are using food to fill the emptiness created by your self-abandonment, rather than learning to fill the emptiness and aloneness with love from your higher self.

The other issue may be that the gut flora in your digestive system is out of balance. This leads to craving sweet things, which feeds the bad flora and creates the very problem that leads to craving sweets and starchy foods. I suggest that you read, “Gut and Psychology Syndrome,” (GAPS) by Natasha Campbell-McBride, M.D. to understand how to heal this. What goes on in your gut affects your brain, so it might be very difficult for you to access the love that is here for you unless you also heal your body.

Food addiction is a symptom of deeper issues of both emotional and physical self-abandonment. Practising Inner Bonding will help you to develop your loving Adult self so that you can love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself.

Find out how Inner Bonding helps you lose weight permanently.

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© Copyright 2015 Margaret Paul. Ph.D, All rights Reserved.
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CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids?, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967. Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world -- mostly on the phone. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest®, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding® and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public. Margaret is passionate about helping people rapidly heal the root cause of their pain and learn the path to joy and loving relationships. In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride horses, and spend time with her grandchildren.

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