Do You Want To Be Happy? Adopt An Attitude Of Gratitude!
Margaret Paul. Ph.D
Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You?, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids?, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God? Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages.
Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967.
Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world -- mostly on the phone. She is able to access spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest®, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding® and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public.
Margaret is passionate about helping people rapidly heal the root cause of their pain and learn the path to joy and loving relationships.
In her spare time, Margaret loves to paint, make pottery, take photos, watch birds, read, ride horses, and spend time with her grandchildren.
Latest posts by Margaret Paul. Ph.D (see all)
- Is Self-Blame Preventing Your Conflict Resolution? - Jun 11, 2015
- Surprisingly You Can Practice Self-Love By Being Loving To Others - Jun 11, 2015
- What Do Men And Women Want From A Committed Relationship And Why? - Jun 8, 2015
How gratitude and learning lead to happiness and success
If there were two choices you could make that would change your whole experience of life for the better, would you make these choices?
What if there were just two choices you could make to insure that this coming year would be wonderful? There actually are, and these choices are quite simple in concept, yet not always easy to do. They are not things you do on the outside, such as exercising your body or eating better (which are always a good things to do!) but ways of thinking and being on the inside. These have to do with your attitude and your intent.
Gratitude
I’m sure you’ve all heard of the “attitude of gratitude.” Studies show that the happiest and most successful people in the world are those who consistently live their lives with an attitude of gratitude, who see their cup as half full rather than half empty. Let’s take an example.
Alan and Martin are both firemen. They are both married with children, but this is where the similarities stop. Alan’s life seems to always be filled with joy and success, while Martin’s life always seems to be in turmoil. What is the difference?
Alan is a very upbeat person who always sees the good in everything and is always in gratitude for what he has. He is thankful for his work, his health, his family and his friends. When difficulties arise, he faces them head-on with an attitude of gratitude for the opportunity to learn and to help others. He believes he is spiritually guided and accepts challenges as opportunities for learning and serving. As a result of his openness and caring, people trust him and have come to him with opportunities to invest his money in ways that have created a passive income for his family. He continues to work because he likes it, not because he has to financially.
Martin, on the other hand, is a person who is constantly complaining about everything. Nothing is ever good enough for him. He blames others for his circumstances, takes no responsibility for his own feelings, and has no belief that he is being spiritually guided. He feels like a victim most of the time. As a result of the stress he causes himself due to his negative thinking, he is often ill, and experiences many family problems. He plods along in his work, resentful that he even has to work. He often feels like life is passing him by.
Intent to Learn
God has given us the free will to choose our intention, to choose what is most important to us in any given moment. The Inner Bonding process teaches us that in our relationship with ourselves and others, we have only two intentions to choose from:
1) The intent to learn, with our spiritual Guidance, about what is most loving to ourselves and others;
2) The intent to protect against the pain of rejection, abandonment, engulfment, or failure through some form of controlling behavior.
Our intent to learn/love or protect/control determines our experience in any given moment.
Hilary and Alice are both married with children. Both women work as nurses, but, as with Alan and Martin, this is where the similarity ends. Hilary and Alice have similar life challenges in both work and family, yet to look at Hilary you would think she doesn’t have a care in the world.
Hilary embraces all of life’s challenges from a solid knowing that she is on a spiritual journey of the soul – a journey of learning to be the most loving person she can be, both with herself and with others. Due to her devoted Inner Bonding practice, she accepts responsibility for her own feelings and behavior, and opens to learning with Spirit and others when conflict occurs. Rather than shying away from conflict, she welcomes it as an opportunity to learn about herself and heal any blocks to being a pure instrument of God’s work upon the planet. Hilary feels much peace and joy in her life.
Alice, on the other hand, is locked into the earthly journey of control. Instead of learning from conflicts, she avoids them with giving herself up or getting angry to have control over the outcome. Rather than taking responsibility for her own feelings, she often numbs out with food and wine. Control is her God. Alice is often anxious and depressed as a result of her intent to protect, and is on medication to deal with the resulting anxiety and depression.
It is not life’s circumstances that are causing Alan and Hilary to have so much more peace and joy than Alice and Martin. Choosing gratitude and the intent to learn, as opposed to complaining and the intent to protect /control makes all the difference in the world.
Make this coming year the best year of your life by consistently practicing Inner Bonding and making these two choices – gratitude and the intent to learn.
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Find out how Inner Bonding has helped Alanis Morissette to evolve in her courage to love.
