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The Games People Play 1: Everybody Succumbs to Pity

pity

General dating advice

The Games People Play 1: Everybody Succumbs to Pity

Pity is the greatest seducer

“I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him.”
― Martha StoutThe Sociopath Next Door

Of all the seduction games people play perhaps the most dastardly is the one often used by sociopaths  –  pity.

Why is pity used by sociopaths?

Sociopaths are opportunists by nature and will quickly assess the vulnerability of their victims before presenting themselves in a way which stands the greatest chance of success in achieving their aims. Pity is an excellent emotion to use since this quality is present in the all  human beings except of course sociopaths who make up 4% of the population.

What is pity?

“Pity” as the philosopher Sir Francis Bacon observed is the tenderest of affections some say it is the emotion that sets humans apart  from other animals.

Unfortunately the most duplicitous members of the human race  know this only too well and  often use this tenderest of affections to seduce.

I was reminded of this popular seduction tactic during a conversation with a friend yesterday when she informed me that she had heard that some “poor married man” had been having an affair because his wife didn’t like sex. Being a man myself and only too well aware of the games some men play I was astonished that she and a few other female friends of hers had fallen for this very tall tale – hook, line and sinker!

Clearly this “confidential” piece of information was only shared with this Casanova’s potential victims to “soften them up” prior to seduction!

If you suffer from “White Knight Syndrome” then the perpetrator’s task is made all the easier as you find it almost impossible not to jump to their rescue and may soon find yourself giving them what they lack in their current relationship!

Of course women too are quite capable of using such pitiful tactics to gain approval for their infidelity and ultimately illicit sex!

Here are some other “complaints” about their partners you may hear from one of these philanderers keen to gain your pity/trust as a prelude to seduction:

She/he
– doesn’t understand me
– doesn’t like my children
– is emotionally/physically abusive
– is unfaithful
– is insensitive
– doesn’t listen to me

The list of complaints is endless so you may have heard these and many others.

How to Handle These “Complaints”

Have you seen one of the sign in a shop that says “If you’re unhappy with our service let us know and we’ll do our best to remedy the matter?”

Handling these spousal complaints from sociopaths is no different – tell them to address their complaints to those that are failing to meet their requirements – their partners!

If you don’t tell them this when they first raise a “complaint” then you may find yourself drawn into a web of deceit and an affair that can only end in heartache for everyone concerned except of course the complainant who doesn’t have any qualms about using pity and any other seduction tool to get what he/she wants!

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Derek Collinson is a Business Consultant and Internet Entrepreneur and the founder of four of the most popular dating sites on the internet. The first site Derek founded was www.doglover.biz, the first dating site in the world for people who love dogs and want to share their lives with like minded people. The second was www.attracion.com for people who are only interested in one thing – finding their soul mate and the third was www.thirdagedating.com for people 40 and over who want to share their lives with people from the same era. Recently Derek created a new dating site called www.ourlifeourtime.com for people 50 and over. Derek is a lifelong animal lover and vegetarian as well as being a qualified Reiki practitioner and uses Reiki to heal both people and all creatures great and small. He spent three years using dating sites as a way of finding his soul mate and during that time gained invaluable knowledge of online dating through his experiences of meeting people online and offline as well as from running his three dating sites. Derek’s confidence in online dating was rewarded when seven years ago he met his partner on his own dating site for dog lovers – www.doglover.biz. He created www.howdoidate.com in March, 2013  to provide dating and relationship advice from qualified people to enable others to find love and build fulfilling relationships built on mutual respect, understanding and nurture.

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