How to get out of a bad mood the quick and easy way

Intensify the impacts of your positive self-talk with this easy quick technique. Feeling anxious? down, grumpy, agitated, nervous, sad or lonely?  Criticizing yourself?  There may be a brief, free, and easy technique that you can use right now, without even having to fix a relationship (link is external)or any other problem, to feel immediately calmer and happier.Temporal tapping is a quickee method for influencing your feelings, thoughts or actions for the better.

This rapid-acting and easy-to-do technique involves no medicines or invasive or risky procedures. Can it change your occasional grumpy, anxious or irritible mood?  Or help you get more out of your attempts to use positive self-talk?  Maybe yes, and maybe no.  But rather than let a bad mood or negative self-talk spoil your day, learning to do temporal tapping could well be worth a try.

Donna Eden, a master practitioner of this and other surprisingly effective new therapy and self-help intervention methods, gives a more full explanation of temporal tapping .  If though you just want to get on with it to rid yourself of a bad mood right now, check out the video below.  It will take less than 2 minutes to watch.  Implementing the technique then takes less than 30 seconds.

I make no promises and have no research to back up the validity of temporal tapping.  I’ve just seen it work for clients, and with myself, enough to feel that the technique is worth sharing.

The underlying mechanism seems to be the same as the mechanism of post-hypnotic suggestion. That’s when the hypnotist plants an idea for action subsequent to the trance by saying something like “When you come out of this trance you will….”

Have fun with it!

To view a short video illustrating temporal tapping, click here. (link is external)

“Calm and happy” is one option for a target emotional state.  If you would prefer another, feel welcome to say that instead.  E.g., “I am ok with the dilemma I am facing. I feel ready to figure out how to handle it effectively.”  Or, “I feel optimistic that this situation will work itself out for the best.” Or maybe, “I am lovable.” Or whatever statement feels right for you.

Two rules for choosing your own message to tap into your subconscious:

1. The statement must be in the present tense.  Instead of “I will feel …” which would be future tense, use “I am” or “I feel… .”  e.g., “I am calm” “I feel grateful,” or “I feel relaxed.”

2. The statement must be phrased in the positive, with zero not’s or but’s.  That is, avoid “I don’t feel irritated … ” which is phrased in the negative.  See how don’t has within it an abbreviated not?  Instead, keep the format a description of the state you aim to be feeling as a result of the tapping, i.e., “I feel relaxed and appreciative that  …..”

This is an experiment.  Want to give it a try?

Do use the Comments option below to let me and other readers as well know what your experience is with this technique.  When did you use it?  And what has been the outcome?  This is an experiment that all of us can do together.

If you have been feeling depressed, want to try an even further way-out experiment?  

This is a variation on temporal tapping to get rid of feeling depressed.

Tap with a good solid tap, as in the above exercise, in a circle around your right ear.

This time though when you do your tapping, say the following words:  “My left pre-frontal lobe has at least 30 times more energy than my right pre-frontal lobe.”

Repeat the sentence and the ear-circling 3 to 4 times.  Repeat the entire exercise 3 to 5 times a day.  If you are feeling better, taper off the frequency until you no longer feel you need to be doing the exercise.  Most people need to do it though for several weeks and sometimes for as long as several months to keep a serious depression from returning.

A video of this procedure is in the second half of on treatment of depression.

I repeat, temporal tapping techniques are cutting edge and have not yet been subjected to scientific testing procedures.  

I would love therefore to receive feedback on whether and how the techniques are working for you.

I’d love also to hear from researchers who might be willing to run the kind of testing needed to empirically validate the treatment method.

Looking forward to hearing from you!


For an indexed listing of Dr. H’s Blogposts see her clinical website(link is external).

See also:

Couples Therapy(link is external)

How To Stop Arguing(link is external)


Denver clinical psychologist Susan Heitler, Ph.D(link is external) is a graduate of Harvard and NYU who has authored  for therapists, plus the Power of Two , , and website(link is external) that teach the communication skills for successful relationships.

Click here(link is external) for a free Power of Two relationship quiz.

Click here(link is external) for a fun way to learn the skills for strong and loving relationships from Power of Two(link is external).

Author’s Books

© Copyright 2015 Susan Heitler, Ph.D, All rights Reserved.
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Susan Heitler, Ph.D., is a Denver clinical psychologist who specializes in treatment of anxiety, depression, anger, narcissism, parenting challenges, and marital difficulties. An author of multiple books, articles, audio cd’s and videos, Dr. Heitler is best known in the therapy community for having brought understandings of conflict resolution from the legal and business mediation world to the professional literature on psychotherapy. David Decides About Thumbsucking, Dr. Heitler’s first book, has been recommended for over twenty years by children’s dentists to help young children end detrimental sucking habits. From Conflict to Resolution, an innovative conflict-resolution theory of psychopathology and treatment, has strongly influenced the work of many therapists. The Power of Two and , and also Dr. Heitler’s  website for couples called, teach the skills for marriage success. In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Heitler coaches boards of directors in skills for collaboarative decision-making and, in the world of professional sports, Dr. Heitler serves as mental coach for a men’s doubles tennis team. Education Dr. Heitler graduated from Harvard  University in 1967, and earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from NYU in 1975. Awards and Accomplishments The editors of the master therapist video series Assessment and Treatment of Psychological Disorders selected Dr. Heitler from all the marriage and family therapists in the US to demonstrate the theory and techniques of couple treatment.  Her video from this series, The Angry Couple: Conflict Focused Treatment has become a staple in psychologist and marriage counseling training programs. The editors of the Psychologist Desk Reference, a compendium of therapeutic interventions, selected Dr. Heitler to write the chapter onTreating High Conflict Couples. Other editors of books on counseling theory and techniques have similarly invited her to contribute chapters on her conflict resolution treatment methods. Dr. Heitler’s 1997 book The Power of Two (New Harbinger), which clarifies the communication and conflict resolution skills that sustain healthy marriages, has been translated for publication in six foreign language editions–in China, Taiwan, Israel, Turkey, Brazil and Poland. Dr. Heitler has been invited to present workshops on her conflict resolution methods for mediators and lawyers, psychologists, and marriage and family therapists throughout the country.  She has been a popular presenter at national professional conferences including AAMFT, APA, SmartMarriages, and SEPI and has lectured internationally in Austria, Australia, Canada, China, Israel, Lebanon, Spain, and the United Arab Emirates. Dr. Heitler is frequently interviewed in magazines such as FitnessMen’s HealthWomen’s World, and Parenting.  Her cases have appeared often in the Ladies Home Journal column “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”  She is often interviewed by Denver TV newscasters for her perspectives on psychological aspects of current events. In May, 2004 Dr. Heitler appeared on the CBS Early Show where anchor Harry Smith introduced her as “the most influential person in my life—my therapist.”  He encouraged his viewers similarly to seek therapy when they are emotionally distressed and pre-marital counseling when they are contemplating marriage. Most recently, Dr. Heitler, three of her adult children and one of their friends were awarded a U.S. government Healthy Marriages Initiative grant to produce interactive games for teaching marriage communication and conflict resolution skills over the internet.  See to experience their fun, low-cost, high-impact methods of teaching the skills for a strong and loving marriage. Personal Dr.  Heitler and her husband of almost 40 years are proud parents of four happily married adult children and are grandparents, thus far, of a a baker’s dozen grandchildren.